THE YEARS OF MY LIFE

My early years were filled with joy and excitement
Anticipation and the love of freedom

My teenage years were the destruction of all that I knew
The joy and excitement changed to foreboding and angst

My twenties were the playing out of denial of pain
Living in a chaos that allowed me to cope

My thirties saw the chronic repercussions
Of the previous decades
The impact of addiction
And relational dysfunction

My forties saw a ‘do or die’ situation,
A point at which I had to meet my demons
Or my demons would eat me alive

That’s when the door opened

My fifties saw the unravelling of my self
All the pain arose, the anger, the hurt and the fear
No stone was left unturned in the journey
That seemed to go on forever

My sixties are where you find me now, here, writing this
Wounded, weary, experienced, amazed, humble and aware
It all seems so strangely right

We are like trees
Everything grows us when we let it
Even the hurt and the pain and the angst
There is no answer that satisfies
So we must just allow the past
To be the fertilizer for the present

Peaceful loving acceptance
Of the whole journey
Is what I have arrived at
Not as an elevated destination
But as an ongoing relationship
That invites me to surrender
Again and again and again.

TRANSFORMING THE SHADOW

The human condition must be borne by each of us
Both our personal and ancestral tragedies and wounds
And the suffering of the collective
Somehow we have to expand our consciousness to do this

For the historic and habitual tendency we have adopted
To turn away from suffering, to ignore the horrors,
Does not, nor ever has, swept them under the carpet
Or made them disappear
All it ever did was create an enormous collective and individual shadow

That which is denied does not vanish
But lives in the darkness

There is great opportunity in these changing times
For everything to transform
And for humanity to begin living in an inclusive way

But only when each of us starts to transform our own lives
And begins living in an inclusive way

And that means we each must open up and face ourselves
And face the world
Bear the unbearable
Tear down the walls that we have erected around our hearts
Resolve our habitual desire to judge and measure ourselves and others
Purify our own shadow, meet our demons, welcome our suffering
And become clear vessels of the light
Not as superficial new age wishful thinkers

But as authentic, wild, humble, free, carriers of truth
Willing to bear the human condition
Even as our hearts break open
For we know that love pours forth into the world.

Image by press 👍 and ⭐ from Pixabay

THE SMALL WARS

The world is increasingly divided
Don’t let that division become you

If peace and wholeness
Are your heart’s longing
You must put down all weapons that divide

Disarming ourselves is the hardest task
For it seems we are conditioned
To wage a small war on anything
That does not fit our own beliefs
And we each carry different beliefs
So there are small wars happening everywhere

To really embrace our truth as love
Those wars, those small yet insidious
Defend and attack wars
That keep the world stuck in division
Must come to an end

Therein lies the work of the warrior of the heart.

Image by truthseeker08 from Pixabay 

IT IS ALRIGHT

There is a point on the journey
Of awakening
When you realize
It is all alright
It always was alright
It always is alright
And it always will be alright

Despite the suffering, the hardship,
The war, the loss, the grief,
The violence, the terrible things
We do to ourselves and each other

Still…
It is all alright
It always was alright
It always is alright
And it always will be alright

There is no way of explaining this
So the mind that is divided understands
It is not an argument or a belief
And it doesn’t stop the wheel of pain

It just brings great relief

For you have fallen into your god essence
And realized that separation
Is the most beguiling of illusions
But ultimately untrue.

Image by David Mark from Pixabay 

LIFE IN A DAY

To have a vision that drives you, or pulls you
But to live each day
As though it is an entire life
Fully and without holding anything back

This is the essence of the modern warrior

The birth, the life, and the death
In the microcosm of a day
What more teaching is there.

Image by rihaij from Pixabay

FLICKERS OF LIGHT

Friend, why not fly through the clouds
Into the firmament
Up, beyond the pull of gravity,
The gravity that holds us here
But pins us down
Out, through the outer layers
Of whatever field of energy
Allows the multitude of life to exist
On this blue ball of uniqueness

Into the dark and empty fullness of space

The first astronauts who ventured out into the darkness
Developed such a respect and love when they looked at home,
Alone and tiny in the great scheme of things
Vulnerable and miraculous in the eternal wheel

Why do we forget so easily
And become entangled in our pettiness
In our gripes and righteous complaints
In our arguments and wars

Remembering is such sweet humility
We are but flickers of light
That pass through the dark sky
Remember, remember, remember.

Image by Arek Socha from Pixabay

The Dancer and the Danced

We are being danced
Played and vibrated

We have given ourselves an identity
Given a name to the nameless we are

A dancing pattern of particles
Stardust gathered from the vast
Circling an imperceptible black hole, a void
At the center of our constellation

We are a universe, each one a world unto ourselves
Billions and billions of worlds
Colliding, interacting,
Drawing towards and repelling

For one moment, cease giving a name to yourself
Rest as the nameless one
Be the dance

In truth
You are the player and the played
The vibrator and the vibration itself
Mesmerizing astonishing truth

Don’t dumb yourself down
By imagining you are just a small someone
You are all that is
Eternity gathered up as a unique expression
What more do you want?

Image by Sasin Tipchai from Pixabay