face to face with god

and thus it came to pass
one day
that each and every story,
no matter how tall
and how implausible
no matter how real and convincing,
stopped working

the stories no longer
eased the pain
of existence
the stories no longer
offered some healing balm
they simply
dropped to the floor
in front of him
and ineffective

and there he stood
naked and empty
face to face
with god

there was nothing to say
nowhere to go
the abyss below
and eternity above

a great silence
consumed him
that felt like death,
and terror haunted him

yet he stayed
exactly where he was
unmoving and still
the dark night
wanting everything
every single thing
he thought he was
all his stories
all his pain, excuses, reasons
all his love and light,
a black hole
consuming the whole
of his universe

and he willingly
allowed himself
to be pulled
into the darkness

there is a sweetness
that you taste
when the self dies
it cannot be explained 
but can be compared to
that feeling you get when
you no longer care
about anything at all
and it makes you so happy you
start dancing.

11 thoughts on “face to face with god

  1. Powerful imagery here. It actually brought the thought to me that black holes in outer space as seen and described by the astrophysicists exist solely so that we may be able to put the spiritual dark night of the soul into words.


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