The Agony and the Ecstasy

When you allow the world in
Fully and without any resistance
It will penetrate every atom of your being

You will experience
Both the agony of existence
And the suffering of being born into form

And also the sheer ecstasy of existence itself
The miracle of being
And the joy of being born into form

Both of these,
The agony and the ecstasy
Must be embraced with equal measure
Because both are true
But attach to neither
Because both are true

Only one who goes all the way in
All the way to the bottom
Can embrace both

Most spent their lives
Developing strategies to avoid them
And live a kind of half life.

3 thoughts on “The Agony and the Ecstasy

  1. Wow! If possible could you elaborate on this topic for me. You see, I your work seems so personal to me because I’d asked spirit how many times had I been here and that night I dreamt about my births; only from the perspective of being inside the womb, I could feel, see, and understand what was happening by the second birthing. They only allowed me to experience the pure love and beauty of the birthing process,as soon as I’d see the light and feel myself being pulled towards it,I’d be right back in the calm of the womb,and the next birth process would start. I recall there being four or five births, with two of them being cesarean section, I feel this because there wasn’t any pressure, or bumping, it was just total peace and calm and then the light and I was back. My last birth shown was the most difficult ,it was as if I was holding on, my head and shoulders and elbows constantly bumping vigorously then the light and I woke up.

    Last week in Colorado I was shown two more dreams in the same night. In the dreams I knew they were me, but from a past life. In my dreams I usually can’t see myself, I just know that it’s me. This is how I knew she was me. She was a young girl maybe middle Eastern decent about to give birth accompanied by her father in some sort of old make shift ward. It was all wooden, the walls, the floor and there were 3 rows of 3 with the floor cut out and we were to lay our bottoms in there to deliver the babies. The father’s of the young girls were behind us to the right of us talking us through it. And there’s a lady walking around assisting with the girls if we needed to get up and go to the bathroom. Everyone is doing well except me, I am being difficult and I’m in pain and it’s as if I don’t know what is going on with my body. My father is yelling at me, but I can’t understand the language. They stand me up, take me outside, lift my arms up and take a bamboo stick and strike me 3 times hard. Once right under my shoulder blades in the middle of my back. Once across my lower back and once right where the thigh ends. They take me back in and place me back down. All of a sudden my bladder kicks in high gear but I’m so very afraid. The feeling is that everything down there is hot and bubbling and if I move this baby will fall right out of me. So I decided to just pee a little bit at a time, but I got caught, and I was crying and they were trying to make me stand up and I knew if I did the baby would be born. The feeling I had was like I was trying to keep my baby from being born and I don’t know why? Once they stood me up, I woke up.
    When I processed the bamboo beating, I felt like they were trying to loosen me up, because I was locked up so tight, they were trying to get me to let my body do what it’s supposed to do naturally. Do you have any thoughts? Ideas? Am I missing something? I don’t believe in coincidence, so I think your post and my dreams were meant to find each other bahahaha. Not to mention that I asked the Universe and my guides to point out people who could help keep me on my path and the same day is when I read your first poem.


    1. Veshon, I have no idea what to make of your dreams. I wish I could interpret them for you but sadly I don’t really have skills like that. My answer to these kind of things, and to your invitation to spirit that has resulted in my poetry showing up at this time is to stay open to the mystery. When you don’t know, live inside the not knowing. That is the only true way, and then life’s deepest intelligence may grace you with insight or epiphany. Many times we are so keen to find the answer to these deep question we actually miss the very thing itself.
      Your dreams are vivid and detailed, let them tell you in their own time what you need to know.
      Divine intelligence is always there, but we don’t know how to listen. We need to get real quiet and soft to hear, and thats pretty hard with the incessant chatter of the mind.

      As to my new poem.

      It says it all in the poem. Life is agony on one level. We come from emptiness, from the formless realm. And then here we are in a body, finite and limited, with only these 5 senses to navigate this realm. On the surface its just life, but from a deeper perspective, its agony.
      And then its also ecstasy, consciousness, the formless that we are, being able to become conscious, having 5 senses, eating, loving, thinking, living, looking..existence itself is ecstatic. And of course to the regular mind its pretty ordinary.
      There it is, agony and ecstasy…the human experience.

      I have no idea whether i have just prattled on or helped in anyway at all.
      Kavi x


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