My father shriveled into a coward’s life
His father carried his paranoia to the grave
His brother died of alcoholism and fear
My brother carries the darkness within him
My mother never recovered from bitterness
Her father was gassed in the first war and died early
Her mother retreated from life into illness

I nearly went the same way
The way of fear
The way of disappointment and bitterness
Of anger and resentment
Of addiction and desolation

But something happened on the way down

And my descent stopped
And became a kind of flight
Into the mystery
And the unknown

Everything unravelled
All beliefs and conditioning
Expectations and stories
And what was revealed
Was so natural and vast and pure

It was life
Without anything extra
Without the baggage and burden
It was the simple act of
Birth into form
From nothing into something
And back into nothing
I tried to find out what I was, what I am
And I discovered
I am love, freedom
Tree, animal, mineral
Bird, thought and sky
I am the space in which things happen
And the things that happen
I am the named and the nameless

Now I am recovered from the shock
I can laugh
And live easily
With gratitude and joy
My father, his father
His brother, my brother
My mother, her father and mother
All those who fell, broken and beaten
I can carry with such a deep compassion and love
They are healed and free
Free to dissolve back into
The formless realm
Of pure love
From which we all come
And all return to.