When you finally and irrevocably realize
That all the addiction
All the reaching for things
All the avoidance of pain
And the denial of personal suffering
And the attempt to avoid this moment
JUST DOESN’T WORK
The addiction only brings a temporary fix
And the story comes back and back
And the reaching for things to numb the pain
It just doesn’t work
It just defers it for a moment
It anesthetizes it
But as surely as night follows day
It returns, always it returns

When you really dig in and realize it doesn’t work
That’s your time
It can crush you because you think there is no way out
But that’s your time
Your time for transformation to really begin
The turning, maybe slowly, maybe only
Inch by tentative inch
Turning towards what causes such pain
Whatever it really is you are trying to avoid

Yes, the end of trying to avoid what you run away from
With support, with help, with God, or alone
However you do it, whatever moves you
It just doesn’t matter
It may take time, it may happen quickly
It doesn’t matter
It will hurt, at times it will
Hurt like hell
At times it will feel so good, such relief,
And the reaching, the desire, it will continue

Keep going friend, keep on going
Keep on turning towards it
Facing the unbearable
Meeting yourself, just doing it
Regardless of how it feels

Life will have your back
The change may be radical, or subtle
Profound and ordinary

But you will never regret it
All it takes is realizing
That your current strategies
Really don’t work very well.

I tried for twenty five long years to avoid my pain
Until the avoidance became unbearable
And it was either going to kill me
Or I was going to face it
I faced it
It was worth it.