When I Returned to Myself

When I decided not to walk out on myself any more
Not to abandon myself
Or turn away
Not to yield my presence and openness
Not to turn towards self hate
Or self neglect
Not to give myself to avoidance
Or addiction
When I decided to love myself more than that
To love myself so much
I would not walk out any more
When I promised I would just stay here,
Quietly, silently, patiently, openly
And just be with whatever arises
Until it passes
When I realized I was the one I needed
When it finally dawned on me I had this power
Not tightly, angrily, not in the grip of anything
But because I was tired of moving away from what hurt
Tired of avoiding what was inside
And tired of tying myself in knots

When I finally decided
Then I stayed
And I never left myself again
And that was the grace I had been seeking

When you see how beautiful you really are
You can never abandon yourself again.

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