AN INFINITE ECSTATIC SORROW

As I ran in the silence of the early dawn
Held by the emptiness of mournful piano

An infinite sorrow came upon me
Causeless and peaceful
It was without limit
Soft and almost imperceptible
And inside it
Was a kind of exquisite ecstasy

None of this needed any explanation or inquiry
No holding on to it
As though it were life itself
The air, consciousness, love

I was there, in eternity,
As eternity, a moment in time
A witness and a drop in the ocean
I may never recover
Neither would I want to.

THE YEARS OF MY LIFE

My early years were filled with joy and excitement
Anticipation and the love of freedom

My teenage years were the destruction of all that I knew
The joy and excitement changed to foreboding and angst

My twenties were the playing out of denial of pain
Living in a chaos that allowed me to cope

My thirties saw the chronic repercussions
Of the previous decades
The impact of addiction
And relational dysfunction

My forties saw a ‘do or die’ situation,
A point at which I had to meet my demons
Or my demons would eat me alive

That’s when the door opened

My fifties saw the unravelling of my self
All the pain arose, the anger, the hurt and the fear
No stone was left unturned in the journey
That seemed to go on forever

My sixties are where you find me now, here, writing this
Wounded, weary, experienced, amazed, humble and aware
It all seems so strangely right

We are like trees
Everything grows us when we let it
Even the hurt and the pain and the angst
There is no answer that satisfies
So we must just allow the past
To be the fertilizer for the present

Peaceful loving acceptance
Of the whole journey
Is what I have arrived at
Not as an elevated destination
But as an ongoing relationship
That invites me to surrender
Again and again and again.

TRANSFORMING THE SHADOW

The human condition must be borne by each of us
Both our personal and ancestral tragedies and wounds
And the suffering of the collective
Somehow we have to expand our consciousness to do this

For the historic and habitual tendency we have adopted
To turn away from suffering, to ignore the horrors,
Does not, nor ever has, swept them under the carpet
Or made them disappear
All it ever did was create an enormous collective and individual shadow

That which is denied does not vanish
But lives in the darkness

There is great opportunity in these changing times
For everything to transform
And for humanity to begin living in an inclusive way

But only when each of us starts to transform our own lives
And begins living in an inclusive way

And that means we each must open up and face ourselves
And face the world
Bear the unbearable
Tear down the walls that we have erected around our hearts
Resolve our habitual desire to judge and measure ourselves and others
Purify our own shadow, meet our demons, welcome our suffering
And become clear vessels of the light
Not as superficial new age wishful thinkers

But as authentic, wild, humble, free, carriers of truth
Willing to bear the human condition
Even as our hearts break open
For we know that love pours forth into the world.

Image by press 👍 and ⭐ from Pixabay

The Beloved Says…

The Beloved says…

Go forth into the realm of form
Be an emissary of the light

Seek to be unattached
Even as attachment
Wraps you in its arms
With its sweet and tempting offers

Seek to stay as love
Even as fear grabs you
By the neck
And breathing becomes labored

Seek mastery of desire
Even as the lure of comfort
And the veil of security
Draws you toward it

You will become lost in that place
And then, child of the light,
Remember to dance
Remember to laugh and sing
To grieve and cry in the devastation
To soak in the pouring rain
As it drenches your wounded heart

And let that remembering itself
Be the light that you carry
To share with others
Who have forgotten.

Image by Anja🤗#helpinghands #solidarity#stays healthy🙏 from Pixabay

ENTRUSTED WITH THE SPARK

We have each been entrusted
With the divine spark of life

Love, compassion and joy
Are encoded into our dna

Yet we forget, beguiled by
Survivalism and conditioning
Mesmerized by desire and fear

And in our amnesia
We walk the earth
Searching for something
That makes us feel whole

We are already whole
And each of us
Has been entrusted
With the divine spark of life

Remembering this
Allows the spark
To become a fire.

Image by Lenka Sevcikova from Pixabay

The Door of Sadness

The door of personal sadness and grief
When embraced and opened to fully
May lead to the palace of realization
Of universal suffering
And the nature of temporariness

The one who can live from broken heartedness
Can walk through the valley of desolation
With equanimity and the greatest acceptance
Of the way things are

That one may be a healer
A homeopathic remedy
For the collective body
That struggles so much
As it constantly turns away
From the painful truth of life

The bitter sweet path
Brings depth and richness
To all it touches.

Image by omer yousief from Pixabay

The Sincere One

Discover your unconditional heart
And make your one true purpose
To stay there, no matter what

Life will hear your call
And bring you everything you need
To forge your blade
And test your resolve

And you will have to decide
How to meet those invitations

There is no avoiding this
If you are sincere about your journey

That is all.

Image by jplenio from Pixabay

TIME TO BLOSSOM – Dedicated to YOU

The human experience
Carries the potential for greatness
Or terrible tyranny

We are latent beings
Waiting to be activated

There is adventure
Written into our code

What makes one
Rise up against all odds
Out of all suffering
And become a carrier of light

And yet another
Lauded with wealth
Cosseted with opulence
Becomes the harbinger of doom

Don’t think this lies somewhere else
It is in each of our hearts
I was a wreck, tortured by my past
Inflicting my pain of everyone

And then opportunity for change arrived
And I seized it by the forelock
Even though it terrified me

Truly it doesn’t matter what has happened
What matters is how it serves you now
Does it cripple you?
Does it feed you?
Can you use it as food for your transformation?

None of this is easy
But we must face these hard truths
We have but one short life
That may be wasted in the past
And we will miss this beauty.

“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.”
― Anais Nin

– I wrote this in March 2019 but now it is more relevant than ever.

– Image by Albrecht Fietz from Pixabay