Death is a Dear Friend No-One Likes

Eventually this body will fall away
Form itself will dissolve
Back to wherever it came from
Nothing left of me
But a fragrance

This I accept with grace
Because it is inevitable

It brings a preciousness to my time here
It reminds me what it important
It shows me the pointlessness
Of unnecessary worry

The inevitability of death
Brings everything into context
That’s why I hold it close to me
I don’t push it away
Death is a dear friend
No one likes
I have befriended them
And made them an ally
And now they are not as scary
And I can live fully
Here and now
Alive and available

Eventually everything will dissolve.

Image by Johannes Plenio from Pixabay

Reclaimed Innocence

When I sit with you
And you show me your self
You reveal the pain and darkness
And all the times your innocence
Was closed down in fear

I see you
I see inside you
I see that which is not broken
I know you want to fix yourself
Because it hurts
But there is nothing to fix
Because you are not broken
Just wounded

I see your vulnerability
And sadness
Your anger and doubt
But there! In all that
I see your beauty
Still there, hiding, waiting

I see your innocence
Not gone, just waiting
Silently in the shadows
For the moment it can return
Surely it will return upon death
But there is a way
To allow innocence back, now

Innocence is the heart
It is like the sun
It can’t break
It can be hidden by dark clouds
That last a lifetime

Open all your doors
The ones you have kept closed
For protection all these years
You no longer need them
You are stronger than you know
And your strength
Is your openness
Your tenderness
And your reclaimed innocence.

Image by S. Hermann & F. Richter from Pixabay

The Sacrifice of Self For Love

As experience walking in the unknown
Has cooked me more and more
So my flavor has matured and deepened
I do not say this with any grandiosity
For the cooking itself has dissolved
All pretension and self applaud

The willingness to walk in the fire
To face life openly and tenderly
With no stories or justifications
Turns humiliation to humility
Arrogance to wisdom
Self righteousness to kindness
Fear to love

To enter the freedom of love’s truth
You must be willing
To offer everything to God
Nothing less than totality will do
Nothing kept back in case
No, utterly naked as an innocent child
That’s the way it is

For in that offering of the totality of oneself
There is a transformation
And you are born again
As freedom
As love.

Image by Daniel Reche from Pixabay

To Eternity We Bow

To eternity we must bow
To the one great intelligence
That rules all life
While we dance and play and fight like children
Creating our own struggles and laws and beliefs
And praying to idols we create
Meanwhile the destiny of each of us
Is ruled by eternity’s inevitable hand
That beckons us forward

Life is in equal parts
Misery and Joy

The only freedom is to know all this
To stare eternity in the eye
To stand in awe at the vastness
To fall to one’s knees
To weep for everything that will be lost
And love anyway

Oh! the paradox, the great juxtaposition of life
To stare at eternity
Without falling into the abyss
Surely this is beauty itself.

Photo by Dino Reichmuth on Unsplash

Grace – The Nectar of the Gods

I have fallen in so many holes
Been disappointed and felt let down
I have been furious and triggered
Thousands of times
I have wanted to run away from everything
Even end it all and vanish from existence
I have hurt others and been hurt
Done things I regret and made countless mistakes
I have missed opportunities and messed up
I have been righteous, rude and ignorant
Neglected when I could have cared
And turned away when I could have stayed

Yet now, as life courses through these veins,
As maturity deepens the wine
And a certain wisdom brings clarity
I see how everything fits together
I understand the pattern of being human

It doesn’t matter how long it takes
Even in the last minutes of life
At the final curtain
It doesn’t really matter what has been done
What really matters
Is whether it leads to love or not
Whether the door of love opens
And the milk of human and divine kindness
Flows or not
To arrive at forgiveness, compassion, kindness,
To arrive at sorry or great tenderness of heart
Is grace

And a moment of true grace
Is the nectar of the gods
And all life’s experience is designed
For the opportunity
To arrive at the door of that grace
We are the conduits of possibility
And the possibilities are infinite

I have fallen in so many holes
But all of them led to grace.

Photo by Josh Boot on Unsplash

It Is All Borrowed

I got a ride with Ernie
A driver of Spanish origin
In New Mexico
He recently lost his son
And previously his daughter
He had a beautiful attitude to life
Taught to him by his grandmother
She told all the children
‘Nothing here is yours
It’s all borrowed
And it will all have to be given back
We arrive empty and we leave empty
Remember this always.’

This elder teaching has allowed Ernie
To stay true even in the midst
Of emotional pain and suffering
And has brought him to great equanimity
He was free to love without attachment

It was quite a ride.

Even in this that seems so broken

When did it all change
When did you start to feel so heavy
Weighed down by it all
Lost in seriousness
Scared for your life
Or scared for the world

When did you become
So scared of the world

When did you start to see
More problems than solutions
When did the shine vanish
Rubbed off by years of experience

You lost your joy
Your carefree ways
That innocence you had
It dissolved into this
Like everyone else

When was it you picked up
Those heavy bags
Filled with woes, troubles, beliefs, fears
Most of which never come true

When
And why?

And what will it take to drop
All these worries

I beseech thee
Let us sit in the chaos
In the futility, in the storm
And simply sit, tears of sorrow
Rolling down, weeping for our lives
And the lives of those gone
Crying for time slipped away
Missed moments
Broken dreams
Lives torn apart

Let us just sit like this
And meet each other here
Eye to eye
Heart to heart
Nothing to say
We will meet in this silence

And it will show us
That love is still here
Even in this
Even in this that seems so broken.