The Existential Abyss of Freedom

Yes, you must recognize your aloneness
And fall into the existential void
Yes, it may be terrifying
And bring you face to face with all that has been avoided
Yes, you will meet meaninglessness
And be forced to become intimate with death
But this is not the end of you
Only the end of the dream of you
There is a big difference
This dream we imagine to be so real
Must be seen all the way
Not sort of, some of the way,
But all the way
And only then will it be fully released
And therein lies the peace and equanimity
It is powerful, it takes willingness and great courage
But I have not met one person
Who does not have the capacity to do it.

Image by Darren Lawrence from Pixabay

Dance of Courtship

It is simple
Each of us is a moth
The flame we circle
Carries within it
The freedom we seek
But we must fly around
And around and around
In an ecstatic dance
Of courtship
Before the moment,
When the dance is at its wildest,
We yield to the inevitable
Pull of that burning

God is us, the flame, the freedom
And the dance of courtship.

In Our Grief

Speak only of tenderness
On days like these
Accept love’s open arms
And be held in the unconditional

In our grief a beauty shines

The heart is revealed
As not made of stone
But of flesh and blood and spirit
We are fragile creatures
Walking a precarious path
With little knowledge of what awaits

Today we are reminded
Of the preciousness of life.

Image by Goran Horvat from Pixabay

A Collective Grief

And if an immense sadness
Approaching grief and overwhelm
Should fall upon you
Do not throw your hand
Or think there is something terribly wrong

For the opposite is true
Something right is happening in you
Albeit painful and difficult
There are two types of sadness and grief
The individual and the collective
And we cannot know which is which

Our emotional body is connected to the whole
But we are unaware of this
And this may cause us great pain
We are more connected to each other than we know
And we try so hard to maintain our separation

But we are in the time of collective suffering
And we are each barometers and holders of that grief
When the collective lie is great
It is the same as the pain of individual denial
Which is great

We cry, we grieve, we endure
We dance, we mourn, we shout
We rage, we pray, we love, we beseech
We laugh, we allow,
But we do not deny
And we are not ashamed of feeling fully.

Image by aaron son from Pixabay

Already Masked Up

How many masks will we wear
Before we realize
We were already wearing masks
Because shame is at the root
Of unconsciousness
And we live in a world
Where people hide their vulnerability
And hide their grief
Afraid of revealing themselves

This new mask syndrome is convenient
But, on the existential level,
Doomed to failure

We are born for contact, for connection
We are trained to watch each other’s every detail
We stare into the eyes and face of our mother
Reading with wonder every twitch, smile and frown
And now all we see are the eyes of strangers
Some hostile, some benevolent, many scared
Reaching out across space and time
Like stars blinking in a dark universe

We were already masked up
Hiding how we feel
This current masking brings us to our grief
The height of our apparent separation from each other
Secretly, on the shadow side,
I think many actually want to wear masks

We are at our grief point my friend
Breakdown or breakthrough, who knows which

I am sorry, please forgive me, I love you.

– Kaviji

Image by Poli from Pixabay

COAT PLEASE

These coats we wear
Bought in childhood
Bright and shiny in youth
Slightly ill fitting in middle age
Worn out and frayed in maturity

Why not just throw them off
And go naked and free

Because when we try to take them off
We find they are stuck to us
And we are strangely attached to them

We want to be free
But the coat is familiar and safe
We want to be naked and open
But the coat hides our shame
It covers us in our vulnerability
And we don’t have to face the world
The coat is our investment
And we are reluctant to give that up

Eventually we may come to a great palace
Where to enter is our greatest longing
A longing beyond all other earthly longings
At the entrance we are met by a doorman
Who says ‘May I have your coat please?’

Photo by Velizar Ivanov on Unsplash

Battle or Surrender

The world of experience
This phenomenal display
We imagine we understand
But get so wrong

Will either drive us mad
Or drive us deep inside ourselves
The same world
Will taunt and tease us into battle
Or invite us into surrender

What makes one person wise
And another ignorant?
What makes one learn from life
And another endlessly fight with it?

No one knows what fate is
No one knows what karma is
All we really have is this, here, now
An opportunity for deepening
Or the perpetuation of our struggle

The most dangerous thing about life
Is thinking we understand it.

Image by Krzysiek from Pixabay

The Dance of Awakening

You can only really dance
When you let go of everything
And live entirely in the moment
Then the movement and energy
That was there anyway
Touches you at the core
And vibrates its way through you
And you call it dancing

It was there always
But you weren’t
Until you let go
Of self consciousness
Distracting thoughts
And past and future imagination

It’s the same with realization
So just think of it as a dance
And don’t be so heavy about it
If you need a reminder every now and then
Get up, turn the music up
And freak out.

– Image by ArtTower from Pixabay

WHY WE NEED TO GRIEVE

This poem is a call to grief
A call for us to throw off our defenses
To tear off the stony masks
That cover our pain
And to grieve innocently and fully
Wherever we are
Whatever our circumstances

We must grieve
To renew
It is part of the cycle of joy
Which is part of the essence of life
Grief is an acknowledgment
Of our humanity, our vulnerability
And our temporariness

Grief is the balm the ego needs
To soften its aggrandizement

And now we are here, at home,
Confused, angry, anxious, alone
Losing loved ones and strangers alike
We have always been losing loved ones and strangers alike
Death and suffering surround us

But now our fragility and our vulnerability
Are in true focus
The truth of our condition is here to be seen
And to be felt
We are fragile
And the web of life is fragile

We can’t pretend any longer
To pretend is to deny
And to deny
Is what causes us to bury our darkness
Deeper and deeper
Until it becomes a monster

My friend, don’t be afraid of grief
It is the doorway to beauty
And all that is real
Be afraid of falseness and denial
It will make you cold and brittle

We are in extraordinary times
When we are being reminded of the truth
That we cannot turn away from our humanity
Or carry on in our old ways
What an opportunity.

– Image by Richard Mcall from Pixabay

Don’t Miss This Life

The greatest tragedy in life is not death
It is that we did not live fully
The greatest tragedy is not
That we are here
Marooned on either side by eternity
It is that we wasted our precious time
On things that didn’t matter
And forgot to smell the spring flowers
And stop to listen to the sweet birdsong
As it welcomes the dawn
We forgot to see a world of beauty
And got lost in things we thought we needed

Don’t miss this
Don’t get so caught up in the waves
That you forget to feel
The beautiful texture of the water.

Image by Jill Wellington from Pixabay