Sky Nature and the Cloud World.

First there was Innocence. Pure, untouched innocence. The emptiness of the sky.

All I knew was the sky. I was the sky, and the sky was me. Everything was sky.

Soon the clouds came. They started slowly but over time more and more came. And they got thicker and thicker. After a time they covered the sky.

I forgot the sky existed. I thought there was just cloud, and so did everyone else.
Sometimes someone would say,’ Have you heard about the sky?’ but I no longer knew what they were talking about.

Occasionally I saw something bright and open and beautiful and free, but it didn’t last long and soon the clouds returned. A constant cloudy world.

I was depressed, disillusioned, unsatisfied, alienated, angry, dysfunctional and lost. Searching inside the cloud world revealed nothing satisfying, just the same old things over and over.

One day I met a wise man who said. ‘The clouds are always blowing through the sky, but the sky is always there.

I decided to investigate this riddle. What happened was a journey into the darkness, an unravelling, an adventure and a systematic endeavor to remove, dissolve, ignore or accept the clouds and begin to remember the sky, consciously accept that there is a sky and there always was, I just forgot it.

It didn’t disappear, I did!

Slowly I began to see the sky more and more. I had to change many things. There were some things that made the clouds come again. Like a veil they would return and trap me in their darkness, their sticky darkness. But I learned more and more what was sticky and what was not.

And then strange new things started happening. I began to see things in a whole new way. There was always more sky than clouds. There were a few clouds but mostly it was clear sky. And it was a similar sky to when I was a baby, but this time I had a choice where previously I had none. Now I knew about the clouds and how they come, how they bring darkness and foreboding, how they cover everything, and how everything ends up covered in clouds. And I saw clearly with wisdom, but childlike wisdom. The relief in living in a clear sky was unspeakable and beautiful.

People asked me why I seemed natural and relaxed and real. I told them the story of the clouds, and the sky, and the forgetting, and the remembering, and they asked me to tell them. So I decided to write down the story of sky nature and the cloud world.

When you are a newborn baby, all you see is sky. That’s all you can see as pure and innocent consciousness. The clouds come soon in the form of learned responses and behaviors. We call it conditioning but really these are, at first, survival techniques. After the first few years of life we no longer see or know the sky exists. All we know is clouds, clouds and clouds. The great forgetting. The great thinking.

BUT…if life proves unsettling, unfulfilling and empty, we may start to wonder why. Something is wrong.
We may have a flash here, a glimpse there, of something beyond the clouds, but it is fleeting and soon covered up again. Just clouds and more clouds, and everyone else’s clouds.

Don’t let thinking dominate your sky.

Remember your sky nature, the truth beyond the clouds.

Life – It’s a Tough Lesson

Life
It’s a tough lesson
So many dreams and beliefs
Lie shattered
Hearts broken
Ideas strewn around
Like debris from a crash

You believed, naively,
In what you were told
We all did
That’s what youth is
And then reality starts
And down the dreams come
First one falls to the ground
And then another
And that’s when you hit
The danger zone
Bitterness sets in
Anger takes over
You believed it all
And now you feel cheated

But here is the thing my friend
Now is the time to question
Everything
Everything you were told
And all you came to believe
Look into the heart
The soul of life
Ask deeper and deeper questions

The difference between
The downcast and the warrior
Is a change in perspective
The warrior takes their pain
Their suffering
And transforms it
They release the inner victim
To fly into the heavens
The warrior stops trying
To be someone
Other than who they are
They embrace brokenness
As a gift

Life
It’s a tough lesson
But when you drop
All expectations
And just allow it to be
Whatever it is
You become noble and true
Like a blade
Forged on the anvil
Of disappointment
And broken dreams.

On Reaching 60 Years

I’m 60 today
It’s been a long journey so far
Much has been broken
On the way
But now there is no attempt
To mend anything
Only to accept it as it is
There is much I could regret
Things I haven’t done or achieved
But somehow grace has gifted me freedom
Recently, in my 59th year,
I have finally dropped all concern
For what I have or haven’t done
Who I could have been
And what was done to me
Everything came to an end
In this year of grace
And allowed me to enter
The final movement
Unencumbered by past
The game ran its course
And in the glaring light
Everything was seen as it is
As love in disguise
Now I can get down
To the real business of life
Compassion and creativity
Silence and simply joy
Openness and acceptance
And a steely dedication
To the deepest truth
As I feel it

I am filled with gratitude
For the lineage of ancestry
That stretches back
To the beginning
The thread of relations
That brought me here
Although I can never know you
I feel all of you
In my blood, bones and brain
In my tears and my laughter
My pain, suffering and joy
We all meet here
In this experience
The past is this
That some call Kavi
But I call life.

Intimacy – The Hidden Treasure

Intimacy is what happens
When the soul is laid bare
And received
With an open heart

It has nothing to do with sex

Intimacy is where
Openness meets itself
Beyond the walls of self protection

It is the ultimate display of rebellion
In a superficial world

But it has nothing to do with sex

To be intimate with anyone or anything
You have to be willing
To reveal your innermost
To explore your depths
And to hear without judgement
To be able to sit
In the complete unknown
Even as the fire might rage

Intimacy is being comfortable
In the discomfort
Of the unknown
Because this intimacy
Is where love lives

It is the secret treasure
Only the authentic explorer
Can discover.

Tear Down The Imaginary Walls

Don’t build a wall around yourself
Like everyone else
Imagining it as a defense
Against a hostile world
The true effect of such action
Is to imprison you
To lock in your tenderness
Beauty and vulnerability
Without those
Life will never be be full and sweet
The light will dim
And you will live in a kind of twilight
Of pretense

Tear down all the walls
Brick by brick
Be vulnerable and tender
Court your inner beauty
Grace and wonder
Love yourself
No matter what
Refuse to be defined
Or limited

Throw open the doors
And fly into the world
As your radiant self
No matter who you are
Or how broken you are.

A River Of Love Will Pour

We must look at the impact of our conditioning
If we are too untether ourselves from it
To find what is there prior to conditioning
And what is more real than conditioning
Is a deep and often painful inquiry
Because we start to realize who we are not
And we see clearly where we give ourselves away
And where we lost our innocence
We see all the beliefs and voices we have inherited
That are not ours
This inquiry may break our hearts wide open
But don’t worry, from this heartbreak
Will pour a river of love
That will nourish new growth in ways
Previously impossible to imagine

There is so much more to the human experience
Than is offered by conditioning
But first we must first loosen its steely grip.