The Search for the Real

The more you unstick yourself
From what we might call the matrix
That is, the more you see the glue of conditioning,
And how self perpetuating it is
And how deeply we get stuck in it
And then seek to uphold it
Often at any cost
As though it were all utterly real

The more it both horrifies you
And intrigues you

Because you start to see the false construct
And the movie called society
And if that is not real
What is?

And that begins a voyage
That lasts the rest of your life
The search for the real
In the midst of the unreal

Oh! what a wondrous journey is this
That takes us high and low
That strips us away to what we truly are
That calls us to meet ourselves
Deeper and ever deeper
That invites us to embrace
Every unloved part of ourselves
Until we arrive
At the place we never really left
What irony is this.

Image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay

The Openness of Not Knowing

I have been to the darkest places
Crawled on the bottom of the ocean floor
Met, and fallen into, the abyss of hopelessness
I have been confronted with demons and maras
Walked through the forest of shadows
Experienced failure, time and time again
I have faced the horror of suffering
And the unexplainable beauty of existence
Faced my utter aloneness
And seen all my upheld beliefs
Lie shattered on the floor
Obliterated by truth

And what I have learned is to meet life
One step at a time
With no agenda but the openness
Of not knowing
Meeting each experience fresh
And fearless in that openness come what may

This is a journey not a destination.

Image by Myriam Zilles from Pixabay

Conscious Kindness

There is a power in kindness
An overlooked and disregarded power
The power to open up parts of ourselves
Neglected and cast out over the years

Kindness, tenderness and openness,
You can’t embrace these deep qualities
Without them having an impact on your life
And on those around you

As John O,Donohue said,
To be created and come to birth is to be blessed.
Some primal kindness chose us and brought us
through the forest of dreaming until we could emerge
into the clearance of individuality,
with a path of life opening before us through the world.”

Kindness to ourselves connects us
To our innocence
And to the innocence of all life
It precedes all the hardness we learn
All the survival strategies
And defensive layers we must build
Just to be here

And the path of conscious kindness
Opens the door to a place
We may not have been for many many years
But kindness does not happen by accident
It is a choice, a choice made over and over,
A choice made even when the righteous ego screams
A choice made even when the victim voice says no
A choice made even when the world tells you, you are wrong
A choice, a path, a new relationship
A path itself walked with kindness, nothing harsh remaining
Until kindness becomes blood and bones, every fibre of being.

Image by jools_sh from Pixabay

The End of Inner War

My secret is simple
I stopped fighting with the world

I stopped arguing and resisting my experience
I gave up the righteousness
And the indignation
The should’s and shouldnt’s
And I just let it all in
Which meant opening so wide
I became as big as a universe

I stopped measuring everything
And just said ok.

Image by Devanath from Pixabay

Remembering our Innocence

The purpose is not to open the heart
Because it is not actually closed
But to understand why we had to build
An energetic wall to protect our tenderness
In the first place

And if we find that
The act of awareness and understanding
Brings enough compassion and self love
To melt the wall of defense and protection
And allows us to reconnect with our essential nature

That is the healing AND the AWAKENING
It is not a spiritual endeavor
It is a HUMAN one.

Image by Zorro4 from Pixabay

Become the Open Sky

In this temporal life
Is it possible
To be so like the sky
And just allow all the clouds
Everything kind of weather
To come, do its thing, and then go
Without grasping at the cloudless days
Or the calm days, or the blissful days

There is a way
Indeed, we must pursue this way,
Or else be swallowed up and dominated
By the weather

But to become the open sky
Means to let go of all attachment
That the clouds bring
I don’t mean to become cold and uncaring
But to become so wide, so free and open,
That everything can just arrive, do its thing, and then go

I don’t say this lightly, and I don’t say it’s easy
I don’t say it’s an absolute space
And I advise caution to believe gurus or teachers
When they proclaim they have fully arrived there

To open like the sky is a new relationship
It requires vigilance and tenderness
Effort and no effort
Insight and resolve

We are breaking the habits and conditioning of a lifetime
It takes courage and forgiveness
And a warriors patience.

Image by Gianni Crestani from Pixabay

You Cannot Find Truth in the Matrix

Searching in the linearity
For what will satisfy
The yearning heart
And the longing soul
Is fruitless

We must dive beneath the waves
Into the vertical dimension
Beyond time’s limited offerings
Inside our own being

Who is it that truly knows themselves
In these days of surface living
The wise man, or woman,
Stands out among the fools
And sees clearly the veils of illusion

The only journey for truth is inwards
And for that journey
We must be prepared
To become naked
To dissolve false and erroneous beliefs
To unpack the conditioned self
And to fall into the unknown

Truth is only found in the unknown.

Image by Harut Movsisyan from Pixabay