The End of the Story

The personal story plays itself out
Until it no longer has anything to teach you
You will know that time
Because your personal history
Will no longer have any charge in it
And any moments in present life
That would previously have triggered you
Don’t

They may still have a shadow, a fragrance
Of the past
But they don’t drag the past into the present
And dislocate you from being where you are fully

In that way you are able to meet life and it’s nuances
More openly and effectively

Still life has its ups and down,
Its challenges and concerns,
But there is no leaving reality, no absence

You attend to your story with vigilance
Clarity, inquiry, softness and stealth
Openness and understanding,
Seeing the patterns of the past
As they rise up and crash on the beach
Over and over and over
You see them and you watch them
And sometimes you even get lost in them
But slowly slowly you understand the patterns
And then you get to decide
Whether to keep on abdicating your authority to them
Or you no longer need them

That is your power, your authority, right there
We want our spiritual awakening to happen to us
But we are called to do much of the work ourselves
Consciously, resolutely, with care and compassion
But with unwavering devotion to the task

If nothing else, you become a warrior
While seeking enlightenment, don’t just wait
Attend to what you can, what you must,
This is your power, your authority
It’s not given by someone else
It’s claimed by you.

All Things Are Equal

Last night I saw the heavens open
I watched as the sky cried its mournful tears
There were worlds within worlds
Eternity stretched out in all directions
Waving into form and out of form
This bewildering rising and falling
And such a stillness at the heart of it all

This morning I woke up
And attended to the chores
I washed the dishes
And made breakfast
In the simplicity of things.

Photo by Scott Umstattd on Unsplash

Time to Blossom

The human experience
Carries the potential for greatness
Or terrible tyranny

We are latent beings
Waiting to be activated

There is adventure
Written into our code

What makes one
Rise up against all odds
Out of their suffering
And become a carrier of light

And yet another
Lauded with wealth
Cosseted with opulence
Becomes the harbinger of doom

Don’t think this lies somewhere else
It is in each of our hearts
I was a wreck, tortured by my past
Inflicting my pain of everyone

And then opportunity for change arrived
And I seized it by the forelock
Even though it terrified me

Truly it doesn’t matter what has happened
What matters is how it serves you now
Does it cripple you?
Does it feed you?
Can you use it as food for your transformation?

None of this is easy
But we must face these hard truths
We have but one short life
That may be wasted in the past
And we will miss this beauty.

“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.”
― Anais Nin

A River Flows Through Us

There is a river of natural intelligence
Flowing through everything and everyone
Find that river and serve it
Over and over
At first it may be unfamiliar
But keep on serving it
And listening to it
It is the source of true goodness
The well spring of love

It is there, in the space between things
In the pause between breaths
And the deep silence of still mind
In the deepest acceptance of what is
It is there, whispering to you
Nudging you with it’s intuition
It’s your instinct
Your inner guidance system

When you sit in silence
On a still day
In the arms of a great tree
You will feel it
This intelligence is everywhere
Yet we override it
In favor of collective beliefs
And self centered thinking

It takes daring and humility
Softness and surrender
To court this intelligence
It will shrink from demand
And run from aggression
You can’t drag it out
Or beg or barter with it

But
You can become tender
With yourself
With your life
With everything you have previously judged
With all your righteousness
With your wounds and trauma
With the world itself
You can become so tender
That you fall into an unknown place
And you stop all this seeking and searching
Just for one moment
And in that moment of emptiness
Just listen, quietly
And out of that utter silence
You will hear it
And you will feel it
It’s there, inside everything and everyone.

On Reaching 60 Years

I’m 60 today
It’s been a long journey so far
Much has been broken
On the way
But now there is no attempt
To mend anything
Only to accept it as it is
There is much I could regret
Things I haven’t done or achieved
But somehow grace has gifted me freedom
Recently, in my 59th year,
I have finally dropped all concern
For what I have or haven’t done
Who I could have been
And what was done to me
Everything came to an end
In this year of grace
And allowed me to enter
The final movement
Unencumbered by past
The game ran its course
And in the glaring light
Everything was seen as it is
As love in disguise
Now I can get down
To the real business of life
Compassion and creativity
Silence and simply joy
Openness and acceptance
And a steely dedication
To the deepest truth
As I feel it

I am filled with gratitude
For the lineage of ancestry
That stretches back
To the beginning
The thread of relations
That brought me here
Although I can never know you
I feel all of you
In my blood, bones and brain
In my tears and my laughter
My pain, suffering and joy
We all meet here
In this experience
The past is this
That some call Kavi
But I call life.

Intimacy – The Hidden Treasure

Intimacy is what happens
When the soul is laid bare
And received
With an open heart

It has nothing to do with sex

Intimacy is where
Openness meets itself
Beyond the walls of self protection

It is the ultimate display of rebellion
In a superficial world

But it has nothing to do with sex

To be intimate with anyone or anything
You have to be willing
To reveal your innermost
To explore your depths
And to hear without judgement
To be able to sit
In the complete unknown
Even as the fire might rage

Intimacy is being comfortable
In the discomfort
Of the unknown
Because this intimacy
Is where love lives

It is the secret treasure
Only the authentic explorer
Can discover.