THE YEARS OF MY LIFE

My early years were filled with joy and excitement
Anticipation and the love of freedom

My teenage years were the destruction of all that I knew
The joy and excitement changed to foreboding and angst

My twenties were the playing out of denial of pain
Living in a chaos that allowed me to cope

My thirties saw the chronic repercussions
Of the previous decades
The impact of addiction
And relational dysfunction

My forties saw a ‘do or die’ situation,
A point at which I had to meet my demons
Or my demons would eat me alive

That’s when the door opened

My fifties saw the unravelling of my self
All the pain arose, the anger, the hurt and the fear
No stone was left unturned in the journey
That seemed to go on forever

My sixties are where you find me now, here, writing this
Wounded, weary, experienced, amazed, humble and aware
It all seems so strangely right

We are like trees
Everything grows us when we let it
Even the hurt and the pain and the angst
There is no answer that satisfies
So we must just allow the past
To be the fertilizer for the present

Peaceful loving acceptance
Of the whole journey
Is what I have arrived at
Not as an elevated destination
But as an ongoing relationship
That invites me to surrender
Again and again and again.

LIFE IN A DAY

To have a vision that drives you, or pulls you
But to live each day
As though it is an entire life
Fully and without holding anything back

This is the essence of the modern warrior

The birth, the life, and the death
In the microcosm of a day
What more teaching is there.

Image by rihaij from Pixabay

FLICKERS OF LIGHT

Friend, why not fly through the clouds
Into the firmament
Up, beyond the pull of gravity,
The gravity that holds us here
But pins us down
Out, through the outer layers
Of whatever field of energy
Allows the multitude of life to exist
On this blue ball of uniqueness

Into the dark and empty fullness of space

The first astronauts who ventured out into the darkness
Developed such a respect and love when they looked at home,
Alone and tiny in the great scheme of things
Vulnerable and miraculous in the eternal wheel

Why do we forget so easily
And become entangled in our pettiness
In our gripes and righteous complaints
In our arguments and wars

Remembering is such sweet humility
We are but flickers of light
That pass through the dark sky
Remember, remember, remember.

Image by Arek Socha from Pixabay

The Beloved Says…

The Beloved says…

Go forth into the realm of form
Be an emissary of the light

Seek to be unattached
Even as attachment
Wraps you in its arms
With its sweet and tempting offers

Seek to stay as love
Even as fear grabs you
By the neck
And breathing becomes labored

Seek mastery of desire
Even as the lure of comfort
And the veil of security
Draws you toward it

You will become lost in that place
And then, child of the light,
Remember to dance
Remember to laugh and sing
To grieve and cry in the devastation
To soak in the pouring rain
As it drenches your wounded heart

And let that remembering itself
Be the light that you carry
To share with others
Who have forgotten.

Image by Anja🤗#helpinghands #solidarity#stays healthy🙏 from Pixabay

TURN OFF

At some point
You have to turn off
The internal and external narration
And see what remains

Turn off the news
Turn off the radio
Stop reading the latest reports
Of whatever agenda is current
And cease listening
To the constant babble
From the agitated mind

And see what remains
See how the organism
Quietens and softens
And begins to live
From a deeper
And more natural intelligence

It’s not ignorance
It’s sanity.

Image by pasja1000 from Pixabay

ENTRUSTED WITH THE SPARK

We have each been entrusted
With the divine spark of life

Love, compassion and joy
Are encoded into our dna

Yet we forget, beguiled by
Survivalism and conditioning
Mesmerized by desire and fear

And in our amnesia
We walk the earth
Searching for something
That makes us feel whole

We are already whole
And each of us
Has been entrusted
With the divine spark of life

Remembering this
Allows the spark
To become a fire.

Image by Lenka Sevcikova from Pixabay

BECOME NO THING AND FIND LOVE

My friend, if you want to touch reality
If you want to know the truth
And live as love’s open hand
First you will have to remove the dust
From your eyes
Take off the blinkers that narrow your vision
Open your heart to life
Drop to your knees in surrender
Release your righteousness
And fall into the deepest unknown
You will have to stop being someone
And become no thing
Belong to no one

You must fly into the sun
So the light burns off
Lifetimes of guilt and shame
If you really want what is true
You must stand naked and unashamed
Innocent and tender
Before the world
Only this humility will open the door
To love’s deepest truths.

– Image by kreuzfeld from Pixabay