Even in this that seems so broken

When did it all change
When did you start to feel so heavy
Weighed down by it all
Lost in seriousness
Scared for your life
Or scared for the world

When did you become
So scared of the world

When did you start to see
More problems than solutions
When did the shine vanish
Rubbed off by years of experience

You lost your joy
Your carefree ways
That innocence you had
It dissolved into this
Like everyone else

When was it you picked up
Those heavy bags
Filled with woes, troubles, beliefs, fears
Most of which never come true

When
And why?

And what will it take to drop
All these worries

I beseech thee
Let us sit in the chaos
In the futility, in the storm
And simply sit, tears of sorrow
Rolling down, weeping for our lives
And the lives of those gone
Crying for time slipped away
Missed moments
Broken dreams
Lives torn apart

Let us just sit like this
And meet each other here
Eye to eye
Heart to heart
Nothing to say
We will meet in this silence

And it will show us
That love is still here
Even in this
Even in this that seems so broken.

Your One True Purpose

We are sent from beyond
To bring heaven to earth
To bring love to the realm of self
To bring the ineffable to the mundane

But we experience the great forgetting
And, although we arrive as innocence,
We soon forget our one true purpose
We fall into a dream
Occasionally we may have glimpses
And momentarily awaken
But soon we are back sleeping

Yet the dream is not satisfying
Despite our great attempts to make it work
Something is missing
Always something is missing
We think it’s us
We think we are doing something wrong

But it’s really a nudge from the beyond
A reminder to remember
No-one, not even the divine,
Can do it for us
And no-one can make us remember
It is in our hands

Don’t let this dream swallow you up
Remember, and stay awake
Don’t go back to sleep

What this world offers is a drop
In the ocean
Until you remember
Your one true purpose
Then it makes sense.

Beauty in Everything

Can you see the beauty
Even in the drama
Even in the horror and suffering

Somehow that has happened to me
In truth I don’t know how or why
I followed no method or course
It was just grace
And the determination to ask questions
And to never settle for mind’s stories
No matter how convincing

Eventually my eyes were scraped clean
And inside everything I saw beauty
And a kind of love that is creation itself
Not as a belief but as something divine
No religion can explain this
Nor any philosophy

Silence knows it
The sweet tenderness of surrender knows it
The wise ones know it
If you look beyond the beyond
And gaze softly into the heart of things
You will see it also
Maybe just a glimpse
But that is all you need

True beauty reveals itself
In just a glimpse
Keep your eyes open.

Turn Towards Life

Again I wake up, heart broken open
Yet now, unable to turn away,
I am compelled to simply remain open
No fixing this, no resolution
No turning away, no righteousness

Instead, surfing the edge of this delicate web

The human experience,
Imbued with suffering, is inescapable
There is a tender agony to all existence
All form caught in the same dance

And loving deeply,
The kind of love in which you lose your self,
Comes with the inevitable finale,
A clause built in to every contract that reads,
‘This is temporary.’

But, my friend,
I would rather love with this openness
And endure the pain of existence willingly
Than turn towards denial and hatred
The suffering of hatred seems agony
And spreads like a disease

It’s not for me
So I will choose
To wake up heart broken open
Again and again and again

Don’t turn away from life
Turn towards life with arms wide open.

 

The Splendor of Brokenness

When you have had enough
Of the vicissitudes of life
Come here
When you have been broken
One too many times
And you are exhausted
And ready to let go
Come here
When all your searching
Has led you to a closed door
Come here
When you are beaten, broken
Bombarded and bored
Ready to give up the fight
Come here

That’s what we do here
We sit in the splendor of brokenness
And discover that which is unbroken
We don’t fix you or heal you
We don’t deny you
Or create a faith
We don’t overcome the problem

We open to the whole thing
We open so wide we become the space
Inside which everything happens
We allow the human experience
With all its pain and suffering and grief
And joy and desire and happiness
Nothing is excluded

It is a great relief
To finally let go of the struggle
And be held
And sit with others
And dance, and laugh
And cry
And sit in the silence of it all

Come, come
A thousand times. come.

Time to Blossom

The human experience
Carries the potential for greatness
Or terrible tyranny

We are latent beings
Waiting to be activated

There is adventure
Written into our code

What makes one
Rise up against all odds
Out of their suffering
And become a carrier of light

And yet another
Lauded with wealth
Cosseted with opulence
Becomes the harbinger of doom

Don’t think this lies somewhere else
It is in each of our hearts
I was a wreck, tortured by my past
Inflicting my pain of everyone

And then opportunity for change arrived
And I seized it by the forelock
Even though it terrified me

Truly it doesn’t matter what has happened
What matters is how it serves you now
Does it cripple you?
Does it feed you?
Can you use it as food for your transformation?

None of this is easy
But we must face these hard truths
We have but one short life
That may be wasted in the past
And we will miss this beauty.

“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.”
― Anais Nin