This Constant Calling

It whispers
It shouts
It begs
It lures
It demands

After a while
It’s always there
Always inviting you
Even when you forget
Or lose yourself in experience
When you’ve been triggered
Or forgotten all about awakening
Just for a while

Still it comes back
This constant calling
Calling to openness
Calling to expand or deepen
Calling to know yourself more intimately
To love more
To let go of the past
Of the stories
Of the grievances
And the pain

This constant calling
That seems to come from within
Somewhere in the soul
In the deepest
That knows there is more
There is grace somewhere
In this human experience

And the more this calling comes
The more you want to devote yourself to it
Even though it appears to cause conflict
Even though others around you
Don’t understand
And think you are foolish or deluded
Still you long to turn towards this calling

Ah!
The pull of the truth
The pull of awakening
Once it starts
It never stops
Give yourself to it
Surrender again and again
Face the choiceless choice
Give in to your soul’s calling
Even though you don’t know
Where it will lead
Trust it
Just trust the calling itself.

Image by Kristendawn from Pixabay

Become No Thing

You don’t have to become
Another someone
In awakening
Not trying to improve your self
Or change your self in anyway

You are trying to see the self
That already exists
Was born out of illusion
And is not as real as you think

When you really see that
Deeper and deeper
You stop the investment in self
And when you stop investing
In the false self
It starts to go bankrupt

Then you become empty of self
Just a no thing
Neutral and equanimous
More observer
Less actor
Then you can become softer
And kinder and more benevolent
To the one who moves around the world
As the doer, as the player
You get to treat yourself lightly
Because you realize
It’s all an illusion
That’s not a cold realization
But a loving, compassionate one.

The Splendor of the Wreckage

It took me to the edge of myself
I had to die to be reborn
The old self is gone
He was dysfunctional, angry
Distracted, obsessed,
He lived in the past
And carried the bags of pain
With righteous indignity
There was so much beauty in him
Hidden under the weight
Of stories of self
His body was toxic
Nervous system triggered
Always running running away
And then running running towards
And beneath the surface
Such a deep anxiety and despair

All gone, all dissolved
As a dream dissolves
Upon meeting the dawn

Replaced now with presence
With emptiness
With no story, just this
With a love that has no cause
Just this, just this

It took me years
To lose myself
To find my Self
I had to let go of everything
I became so sick
In body, emotion and mind
I came face to face with death
I screamed, I wailed, I raged

Oh I have been there my friend
I know the journey
Of unravelling the knots and the stories
It’s like letting go on an entity
The pain body hangs on to us
And we must let go of it
Again and again
Until it finally just dissolves
Like the dream it is

For me it was like a rebirth
For some people it is gentle
But if you carry trauma
Then it may be an arduous release
But when people come to me
With their new age ways
Of trying to perfect themselves
And make it alright
And tell me they have awakened

It makes me want to laugh
And cry

The transformation we talk about here
Is a demolition of all that is false
And that’s pretty much everything
We don’t rebuild ourselves
From the debris

We live in the splendor
Of the wreckage.

Photo by Samuel Zeller on Unsplash

A Prayer to the Divine

Just for a moment
Let us stand here naked and empty
Free of all this burden of living
Just stand here as the air
As free as emptiness
No words needed
For there is nothing to say
We can hold our heads high to the heavens
Or bow them down to the deepest ground
It doesn’t matter
It is all a prayer to the divine.

Image by Barbara Jackson from Pixabay

Just This Falling

When I realized I was part of everything and everyone
And I truly saw that there was only one thing
An eternal consciousness arising as many
A divine pattern of inexplicable proportions
As tiny as a grain of sand
And as enormous as a universe
All bearing the same hallmark
Everything a mirror and a doorway
To everything else, no edges and no divisions
A repeating and miraculous pattern
Of such degree the mind cannot conceive it
When I accepted how small and insignificant
And yet how extraordinary and necessary I am
And how it all comes to life through me, as me,
I fell backwards into timeless space
Nothing left of me
Just this falling
Into the arms of the unknown mystery
That offers itself to everyone

All questions are answered eventually.

Image by Mylene2401 from Pixabay

Remember Your Vastness

Oh! mystic and eternal wanderer
Come here to this plane
Who knows why
Full of hope and anticipation
Innocent and free
Your eyes and heart awake
And joyous

What happened?
Did the world grind you down
With its pressures and demands
Did it force its cynicism upon you
Coerce you into its ways
Instill its confused beliefs into you

And you forgot
All about your true self
Caught up in a net
And plucked from the vast ocean

But now is the time to remember
All it takes is one moment
A flash of inner lightning
To untether
And unhook
And remember the truth
You are this mystic wanderer
Made of stardust and cosmic debris
Your origins are timeless
And when you dissolve back into emptiness
You do not disappear
But become your vast self again.

Image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay

Unconditional Embrace

Our conflict is between
Our own divisive nature
And our innate truth as union

We arise from union
And learn the ways of division
Conditioned to separation and identity
We forget our true nature

But true happiness and peace
Cannot be found in division
Cannot be found in form, identity
Or anything temporary

Without the greater context
Of our deeper truth as consciousness
We are lost in this identification
And thus we fight
With ourselves and each other

Only by knowing ourselves
By deepening our wisdom
And seeing ourselves in each other
And treating each being and creature
As sacred and the same as us
Can we hope to resolve this conflict

That is the task of the new warrior
To hold existence lightly
With tenderness and kindness
To hold duality, identity and form
In unconditional embrace
Knowing we are not that
But living it fully.

Photo by David Marcu on Unsplash