AN INFINITE ECSTATIC SORROW

As I ran in the silence of the early dawn
Held by the emptiness of mournful piano

An infinite sorrow came upon me
Causeless and peaceful
It was without limit
Soft and almost imperceptible
And inside it
Was a kind of exquisite ecstasy

None of this needed any explanation or inquiry
No holding on to it
As though it were life itself
The air, consciousness, love

I was there, in eternity,
As eternity, a moment in time
A witness and a drop in the ocean
I may never recover
Neither would I want to.

BAD NEWS – GOOD NEWS

There is bad news
Despite all your efforts
Everything is still out of control
And you are falling through eternity
Without knowing how or why you are here

There is good news
It is all ok
It always was, always is and always will be
And the more you can accept
Your lack of control
The more you can bear the bad news

Surrender of personal ego
To the inevitable
Does not diminish one’s sovereignty
In fact it affirms it.

Photo by maxime niyomwungeri on Unsplash

TO KNOW ETERNITY

Presence is a portal
Through which we know eternity
There is only one hole in time’s tapestry
And that is NOW

We are born of time
Like all flesh and blood
Like all form

Yet still we can know eternity
When we come to a complete stop
And allow the mind to settle
As the sediment in a bottle settles
After shaking

To intimately know eternity
For one exquisite moment
Brings an ecstatic wave
And an un-reconcilable grief

That our time here is fleeting
And gone so quickly.

Image by Monoar Rahman Rony from Pixabay

ACCEPTANCE IS A PRACTICE

When acceptance is allowed
To fall deeper and deeper
From the mental realm
Into the emotional realm
And even into the physical realm

It starts to become an embodied experience
That shows up in all relationships

You only find out what it really means
In the act of doing it

As a theory it is useless
As a lived practice it is profound
It changes you and your world

But embracing acceptance is tough
We are conditioned into non acceptance
To resist life and fight with it
To over power it as though life were an enemy
That must be defeated

To fall into a deeper acceptance
All that conditioning must come undone
And that unravelling forces us to come
Face to face with ourselves
In increasingly intimate ways

We may not like what we find
But there is the practice right there
In accepting what we don’t like
In ourselves and in the world

Acceptance is an ongoing unfoldment
An invitation to go deeper and deeper
An exploration of who we are
Beyond and behind the mask.

Image by Pexels from Pixabay

THE YEARS OF MY LIFE

My early years were filled with joy and excitement
Anticipation and the love of freedom

My teenage years were the destruction of all that I knew
The joy and excitement changed to foreboding and angst

My twenties were the playing out of denial of pain
Living in a chaos that allowed me to cope

My thirties saw the chronic repercussions
Of the previous decades
The impact of addiction
And relational dysfunction

My forties saw a ‘do or die’ situation,
A point at which I had to meet my demons
Or my demons would eat me alive

That’s when the door opened

My fifties saw the unravelling of my self
All the pain arose, the anger, the hurt and the fear
No stone was left unturned in the journey
That seemed to go on forever

My sixties are where you find me now, here, writing this
Wounded, weary, experienced, amazed, humble and aware
It all seems so strangely right

We are like trees
Everything grows us when we let it
Even the hurt and the pain and the angst
There is no answer that satisfies
So we must just allow the past
To be the fertilizer for the present

Peaceful loving acceptance
Of the whole journey
Is what I have arrived at
Not as an elevated destination
But as an ongoing relationship
That invites me to surrender
Again and again and again.

TRANSFORMING THE SHADOW

The human condition must be borne by each of us
Both our personal and ancestral tragedies and wounds
And the suffering of the collective
Somehow we have to expand our consciousness to do this

For the historic and habitual tendency we have adopted
To turn away from suffering, to ignore the horrors,
Does not, nor ever has, swept them under the carpet
Or made them disappear
All it ever did was create an enormous collective and individual shadow

That which is denied does not vanish
But lives in the darkness

There is great opportunity in these changing times
For everything to transform
And for humanity to begin living in an inclusive way

But only when each of us starts to transform our own lives
And begins living in an inclusive way

And that means we each must open up and face ourselves
And face the world
Bear the unbearable
Tear down the walls that we have erected around our hearts
Resolve our habitual desire to judge and measure ourselves and others
Purify our own shadow, meet our demons, welcome our suffering
And become clear vessels of the light
Not as superficial new age wishful thinkers

But as authentic, wild, humble, free, carriers of truth
Willing to bear the human condition
Even as our hearts break open
For we know that love pours forth into the world.

Image by press 👍 and ⭐ from Pixabay

THE SMALL WARS

The world is increasingly divided
Don’t let that division become you

If peace and wholeness
Are your heart’s longing
You must put down all weapons that divide

Disarming ourselves is the hardest task
For it seems we are conditioned
To wage a small war on anything
That does not fit our own beliefs
And we each carry different beliefs
So there are small wars happening everywhere

To really embrace our truth as love
Those wars, those small yet insidious
Defend and attack wars
That keep the world stuck in division
Must come to an end

Therein lies the work of the warrior of the heart.

Image by truthseeker08 from Pixabay 

IT IS ALRIGHT

There is a point on the journey
Of awakening
When you realize
It is all alright
It always was alright
It always is alright
And it always will be alright

Despite the suffering, the hardship,
The war, the loss, the grief,
The violence, the terrible things
We do to ourselves and each other

Still…
It is all alright
It always was alright
It always is alright
And it always will be alright

There is no way of explaining this
So the mind that is divided understands
It is not an argument or a belief
And it doesn’t stop the wheel of pain

It just brings great relief

For you have fallen into your god essence
And realized that separation
Is the most beguiling of illusions
But ultimately untrue.

Image by David Mark from Pixabay