BAD NEWS – GOOD NEWS

There is bad news
Despite all your efforts
Everything is still out of control
And you are falling through eternity
Without knowing how or why you are here

There is good news
It is all ok
It always was, always is and always will be
And the more you can accept
Your lack of control
The more you can bear the bad news

Surrender of personal ego
To the inevitable
Does not diminish one’s sovereignty
In fact it affirms it.

Photo by maxime niyomwungeri on Unsplash

ACCEPTANCE IS A PRACTICE

When acceptance is allowed
To fall deeper and deeper
From the mental realm
Into the emotional realm
And even into the physical realm

It starts to become an embodied experience
That shows up in all relationships

You only find out what it really means
In the act of doing it

As a theory it is useless
As a lived practice it is profound
It changes you and your world

But embracing acceptance is tough
We are conditioned into non acceptance
To resist life and fight with it
To over power it as though life were an enemy
That must be defeated

To fall into a deeper acceptance
All that conditioning must come undone
And that unravelling forces us to come
Face to face with ourselves
In increasingly intimate ways

We may not like what we find
But there is the practice right there
In accepting what we don’t like
In ourselves and in the world

Acceptance is an ongoing unfoldment
An invitation to go deeper and deeper
An exploration of who we are
Beyond and behind the mask.

Image by Pexels from Pixabay

THE YEARS OF MY LIFE

My early years were filled with joy and excitement
Anticipation and the love of freedom

My teenage years were the destruction of all that I knew
The joy and excitement changed to foreboding and angst

My twenties were the playing out of denial of pain
Living in a chaos that allowed me to cope

My thirties saw the chronic repercussions
Of the previous decades
The impact of addiction
And relational dysfunction

My forties saw a ‘do or die’ situation,
A point at which I had to meet my demons
Or my demons would eat me alive

That’s when the door opened

My fifties saw the unravelling of my self
All the pain arose, the anger, the hurt and the fear
No stone was left unturned in the journey
That seemed to go on forever

My sixties are where you find me now, here, writing this
Wounded, weary, experienced, amazed, humble and aware
It all seems so strangely right

We are like trees
Everything grows us when we let it
Even the hurt and the pain and the angst
There is no answer that satisfies
So we must just allow the past
To be the fertilizer for the present

Peaceful loving acceptance
Of the whole journey
Is what I have arrived at
Not as an elevated destination
But as an ongoing relationship
That invites me to surrender
Again and again and again.

the deepest acceptance

when i realized
how much of myself
i had given away
all my life
i sat in the emptiness of the devastation
without moving
and allowed everything in
all the pain and dashed hopes
dreams broken and love lost
i didn’t turn away
or move towards it,
instead there was
no reaction, no aversion at all
and in that openness
that resolute acceptance
of the truth
of my brokenness 
came freedom
the freedom of no longer 
moving towards or away
from anything
this neutrality is not dead
but vibrantly alive
like the sky
or the universe itself
and whilst there may be chaos
or storms, black holes
or colliding stars
yet still there is
the neutrality of the deepest acceptance

in that peace i understood
there was never anything to give away.