Even in this that seems so broken

When did it all change
When did you start to feel so heavy
Weighed down by it all
Lost in seriousness
Scared for your life
Or scared for the world

When did you become
So scared of the world

When did you start to see
More problems than solutions
When did the shine vanish
Rubbed off by years of experience

You lost your joy
Your carefree ways
That innocence you had
It dissolved into this
Like everyone else

When was it you picked up
Those heavy bags
Filled with woes, troubles, beliefs, fears
Most of which never come true

And why?

And what will it take to drop
All these worries

I beseech thee
Let us sit in the chaos
In the futility, in the storm
And simply sit, tears of sorrow
Rolling down, weeping for our lives
And the lives of those gone
Crying for time slipped away
Missed moments
Broken dreams
Lives torn apart

Let us just sit like this
And meet each other here
Eye to eye
Heart to heart
Nothing to say
We will meet in this silence

And it will show us
That love is still here
Even in this
Even in this that seems so broken.

The Razor’s Edge

To walk through
The valley of darkness
With awareness
Placing one foot
Softly after the other
In tenderness and resolve
Holding fear lightly
Allowing the waves of emotion
To rise and fall
This is the razor’s edge

It is called the razor’s edge
Because it cuts through duality.

Bear the Unbearable

To love with passion and totality
But accept loss and death
Without closure or bitterness
To be willing to open to it all
Bear the unbearable
And still love
To be kind in the face of cruelty
And not drift into cynicism
Or the lure of righteousness
To hold it all, tenderly,
In the palm of your hand
Like a delicate bird
We have that choice
And it is a difficult one
The pull to closure is so strong

We are fragile creatures
Surrounded by loss
Our daily lives are lived
In an uncertainty
It is difficult to face
So we turn away, again and again,
But denial is no answer
To truth

The wise one
Holds uncertainty
And inevitability
As intimate companions
Yet identifies with neither
Choosing instead openness
And loving kindness

This is the choice
Either this
Or the agony of closure.

Ready For Love

I wasn’t ready for love
When it arrived
It shook me to the core
And in that shaking
Everything fell out

I fell so deep into love’s ocean
I drowned
But in drowning
Something new was born

The I that had struggled so hard
The one that fought the world
And battled for survival
Was no longer in control
Had become but a tiny whisper

Instead there was devotion to truth
An openness and a service to love itself
A warrior arose
Someone real
Who had no need for defenses
No need to attack
This new one wore no mask
Played no games
Yet was not weak
But strangely powerful

There is only one force
That can change this world
And that is love

But it requires a kind of death
Of the one who is defended.

I Entered This World Trembling

I entered this world trembling with anticipation
Excited to see what the fuss was about

Yet fearful of being trapped in a body

Limited in space and time

It has taken me sixty short long years

To get any where near understanding

What on earth is going on
And I have concluded
That matters of man are small

He is preoccupied with power, sex and self
But the mystery of life itself
How and why we exist
And what it is we really are
These are elegant and beautiful questions to ask

When I exit this world I may tremble with anticipation
There will be great sadness leaving the familiar
And of course my beloved
But I arrived unattached and free
And I feel honor bound
To meet my death the same way

We have no idea what this experience really is
We make up stories to explain this
Totally overwhelming wonder we call life
And yet we spend our days distracted by things
That don’t matter

If I could invite you to anything
It would be to remember, somehow, even with your imagination
When you first arrived
And to then cast your eye, even with your imagination
To when you might leave
And then to step back and wonder
Without forming any conclusion
But simply to allow the unknown
To wash you clean of everything you think you know.

A Comet Across the Heavens

A life is a blink of an eye
A flash in the sky
A dying star
A comet across the heavens
At times it seems
To last so long
And we grow so attached
We almost forget
That death hovers around each of us
Like a ghost
Do we ignore the inevitable

Or carry it with us?
I say both
And yet somehow
We must stay calm
And not completely freak out

There is no way to make any sense of this.

Photo by Kristopher Roller on Unsplash