Wild Horses

Today there are wild horses running in my head,
Pulling at my thoughts, scattering my mind.
Today there are dark corners lurking in my heart,
Keeping long-gone secrets, hiding long-lost loves.
Today I carry the weight of a thousand worlds,
Struggling to keep afloat in a sea of strangeness,
Stumbling and falling, hurting and howling,
Waiting and praying … and starting over again.
Today I am just a flicker in the eye of God,
Passing quickly in the night, frightened of the light.
Today I am a million miles away from You,
Separated by storms in my soul, distanced by tears on my breath.
Yearning and longing, waiting for eternity,
Praying endlessly, waiting and praying,
Till today becomes tomorrow … and I start again.

(Written in 2003 upon falling into love with my beloved, who went away to India on a trip and I was left at home in the UK bereft and lovestruck)

Lovers of the World

We are dancing in an endless ocean of love
Swimming with the beautiful ones
Unlocking the door to Eternity
Feeling the breath of the ecstatic wind
Tasting some nectar
Catching a glimpse of the sun
As it pours out its light
For the lovers of the world. – Kavi 2004

I wrote this poem, and many others, when the relationship with my wife, Amoda Maa Jeevan, fully blossomed in 2002/3. The first few years of our coming together were ecstatic and brought the poet out of me. We were like delighted children, tumbling around the world in rapture. Our favorite experience was to bundle into a cafe and dash up to the counter and announce, ‘Two cappuccinos please, we are here to celebrate our existence on this planet!’

It has now been over 15 years and, although the ecstatic nature has transformed and matured, it still has this quality. It is love, and not just love of each other, but the greatest devotion of each of us to love itself, and therefore to truth itself.

Recently we were asked to talk about our relationship. Amoda is a teacher so she does this kind of thing a lot. I’m not, but I am always up for talking about new ways of relating, because relationship is where the rubber really hits the road.

So if you are of a mind and have some time, I invite you to watch our interview and see what you think. It is honest and open. We even talk about sex.

this ordinary ecstasy


arrived out of the demolition

of self

before love’s truth could flower

all the weeds had to die

don’t imagine it is easy

to surrender the desperate self

but know it is necessary

if love is to blossom

meeting another with no defense

with no armor and no weapons

brings into existence

an ordinary ecstasy

that is worth every moment

of the death rattle

of the one that clings to life.

The Depth of Love

(I wrote this in 2002 at the very beginning of my relationship with my wife Amoda Maa. It was, and always has been, the most extraordinary relationship of my life. Meeting her turned me into a poet, brought poetry out of me. I wish I could share with you the utter transcendent brilliance of it. But this poem gives a flavor of it.)

There is no way to explain what happens
When two people dive into the ocean
They leave the world behind
And swim down and down and down further still
Searching for the pearl.
No-one knows what they see, what they do.
They come up for air and can be seen
But soon they are off again
Into the blue beyond
Become fish in the Beloved`s ocean
Circling one another, nibbling each other,
Beautiful and glowing and content,
No longer concerned with
What the world does or says or thinks.

to have loved beyond measure

beyond all the material distraction
this world brings
beyond achievement and acolade
beyond regret of lost moments
beyond pain and shattered dreams
more than enlightenment itself
stands one thing
high above all else
and that is
to have been able to
love beyond measure
beyond safety and beyond stories
beyond self and need

this satisfies the soul
more than anything that
self can get for itself

this is the only miracle
that needs to happen

and if you can’t find another being
to love beyond measure
then love the world
or love yourself

because it is not the object
of your love that matters
is is the inner resonance

that inner resonance
is the healing this world needs

when you love so deeply
you transmit a vibration
that has the ability to
initiate massive change

only love can change this world
your love.

to hold the world tenderly

i have fallen into a place
where all i want to do
is hold you and the whole world
as a loving father holds a distressed child

no need to do or say anything
no explanations
no reasons
no should or shouldn’ts
just this tender holding

in such a moment
something divine happens
and all the knots we have tied
and the pains we have carried
dissolve by themselves

it is a kind of grace
and power that allows all things
to just be as they are

oh! if only we could
simply see each other clearly
we may stop all this madness.

if you have no children
there may come a point where
you adopt the whole world.

there is no saturday

life doesn’t know
it is saturday
because saturday
is an invention
of the human mind
there is no saturday
there is only day

and love, heart ache
pain, sorrow and joy
do not care
what day it is
for they transcend time

sometimes, at odd moments
of freedom
i don’t care about anything at all
and the feeling, causeless and nameless
makes me weep

i don’t care what day it is
it is of superficial concern
to the broken open.

never tired of love

i never tire
of love
for this reason

it has a sweetness
and depth
that calms
even the most
stormy sea

it makes
even the driest
gush forth
its quenching tears

love circles everyone
offering itself
but not everyone
drinks from the well

i am one
who saw the spring
and ran towards it
and drank and drank
until the healing waters 
cleansed all the fear
and shame

and now 
i never tire of love
i see it in the face
of all
and in the fabric
of the universe

each day is a blessing with you

each day i spend with you, beloved
is a blessing i carry with me
whether i am having
a good day
or a bad day
makes no difference
still you bring a blessing
of joy to my life

you healed a heart
that had been betrayed
and still believed
in betrayal
your love has
been clean and pure
and drawn out
all the toxic wounds
i carried

you have healed me
back to innocence
and now there is
just this vast appreciation
i have
of each day i spend
walking this human realm
with you
amoda b and w