Everything Resolves Into Love

My father shriveled into a coward’s life
His father carried his paranoia to the grave
His brother died of alcoholism and fear
My brother carries the darkness within him
My mother never recovered from bitterness
Her father was gassed in the first war and died early
Her mother retreated from life into illness

I nearly went the same way
The way of fear
The way of disappointment and bitterness
Of anger and resentment
Of addiction and desolation

But something happened on the way down

And my descent stopped
And became a kind of flight
Into the mystery
And the unknown

Everything unravelled
All beliefs and conditioning
Expectations and stories
And what was revealed
Was so natural and vast and pure

It was life
Without anything extra
Without the baggage and burden
It was the simple act of
Birth into form
From nothing into something
And back into nothing
I tried to find out what I was, what I am
And I discovered
I am love, freedom
Tree, animal, mineral
Bird, thought and sky
I am the space in which things happen
And the things that happen
I am the named and the nameless

Now I am recovered from the shock
I can laugh
And live easily
With gratitude and joy
My father, his father
His brother, my brother
My mother, her father and mother
All those who fell, broken and beaten
I can carry with such a deep compassion and love
They are healed and free
Free to dissolve back into
The formless realm
Of pure love
From which we all come
And all return to.

Seattle:2015

On Reaching 60 Years

I’m 60 today
It’s been a long journey so far
Much has been broken
On the way
But now there is no attempt
To mend anything
Only to accept it as it is
There is much I could regret
Things I haven’t done or achieved
But somehow grace has gifted me freedom
Recently, in my 59th year,
I have finally dropped all concern
For what I have or haven’t done
Who I could have been
And what was done to me
Everything came to an end
In this year of grace
And allowed me to enter
The final movement
Unencumbered by past
The game ran its course
And in the glaring light
Everything was seen as it is
As love in disguise
Now I can get down
To the real business of life
Compassion and creativity
Silence and simply joy
Openness and acceptance
And a steely dedication
To the deepest truth
As I feel it

I am filled with gratitude
For the lineage of ancestry
That stretches back
To the beginning
The thread of relations
That brought me here
Although I can never know you
I feel all of you
In my blood, bones and brain
In my tears and my laughter
My pain, suffering and joy
We all meet here
In this experience
The past is this
That some call Kavi
But I call life.

Speak To The Invisible World

When you move somewhere
And when you leave somewhere
Make some sweet prayers of gratitude
Light some incense
Speak to the invisible world
Tell them you are coming or going
Offer your heart, your gratitude
Tell them your dreams, your vision
Speak of beauty and love
Invite those invisible ones
To support you, ask for their help
Tell them you mean no harm
And your actions
Are for the benefit of all beings
If you are true of heart
And aligned with love
You will be supported
If you are deceitful and arrogant
You will be ignored
Either way
It will bring you closer to the truth.

There are mysterious relationships
We know nothing about
And there are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio,
Than are dreamt of in your philosophy.’

Throw Open the Doors of Love

We met for this,
To talk of love
To share it
And to throw open its doors
And invite everyone in
Love is a force
It is THE force
Of the universe
And it wants everything
It is like the light
It wants to shine on everything
And cast out
The shadows
We met for this
When we first shared it
We were wildly in love
And our sharing was
Carefree and crazy
Now the wine has matured
And is ready to drink
With grace and care
Love turned my life
Upside down
And now
I see it everywhere
I see where it is not embraced
Where it is denied
And longed for
But I want to say
It is here, now!
It is the oxygen
The air
The water
In the flesh and bones
And blood
It is all
And all is it!
Oh mercy
I must stop….

You will never know how grateful I am…
Let this heart’s love
Ring throughout eternity.

A picture at the recent retreat at Santa Sabina Center, San Rafael, California. June 2018. My wife, author and teacher Amoda Maa.

LOVE

My own mortality
Brings me closer to love’s sweetest nectar
And invites me to taste
In every moment
Of every day
I am in love with lovers
I adore those who have managed to open their hearts in this world,
Even though those same hearts may be broken
I love those who express their love and are unafraid to do it
Truth is I love love, wherever and however it is expressed.
After hiding from it, denying it, raging at it and ignoring it,
I finally surrendered to it
And then I fell in love with it
And then I became it

There is no more time to doubt
We are always kissing the eternal flame.

simply being is not a practice

sitting here
not trying to be some place else
no attempt to move away
allowing all wanting
and all aversion
to be as it is
watching the rush of  thought
as it speeds across the sky
of consciousness
and to simply sit
in the great allowing
with a silent and grateful
smile.

it is not a practice,
it’s for real.
you don’t practice peace
you become it.
you 
don’t practice silence
you are it.

the art of simply being
is true meditation .
the-pacific-and-beach

on this thanksgiving day

i am reminded
not to spend all my gratitude now
but to spread it evenly
over the other three hundred
and sixty four days
and not to just give it to
the ones i am with
but to share it evenly
among friends and strangers alike
and not to give it just to people
but to offer it fully
to whatever
force
brought me here
and to be grateful to all life
evenly.
marin-headlands-ablack-and-white