A River Flows Through Us

There is a river of natural intelligence
Flowing through everything and everyone
Find that river and serve it
Over and over
At first it may be unfamiliar
But keep on serving it
And listening to it
It is the source of true goodness
The well spring of love

It is there, in the space between things
In the pause between breaths
And the deep silence of still mind
In the deepest acceptance of what is
It is there, whispering to you
Nudging you with it’s intuition
It’s your instinct
Your inner guidance system

When you sit in silence
On a still day
In the arms of a great tree
You will feel it
This intelligence is everywhere
Yet we override it
In favor of collective beliefs
And self centered thinking

It takes daring and humility
Softness and surrender
To court this intelligence
It will shrink from demand
And run from aggression
You can’t drag it out
Or beg or barter with it

But
You can become tender
With yourself
With your life
With everything you have previously judged
With all your righteousness
With your wounds and trauma
With the world itself
You can become so tender
That you fall into an unknown place
And you stop all this seeking and searching
Just for one moment
And in that moment of emptiness
Just listen, quietly
And out of that utter silence
You will hear it
And you will feel it
It’s there, inside everything and everyone.

The Inevitable Calls Us All

We are confronted, and invited,
By life’s momentum
To let go of everything
Eventually letting go of life itself

Everything goes the same way
Through the same door
There is an agony in this
That renders us helpless
And brings us to our knees
We want to shut down the pain
And turn back the clock

But opening to it
And knowing we are not alone
Brings a drop of sweetness
In the midst of suffering
That’s all we really have.

(For Debbie)

 

A Love Beyond Valentine

Love is not a personal possession
Not something to keep for self
It’s not ownership of someone else
It is not something we can trade
It is a fragrance
So much deeper than self
It is the sweet beauty
Of openness without imagination
Tenderness without story
Love is the presence
Of just being with this as it is
It is humbling
And exhilarating
Compassionate
And without limit
Love is just what is naturally here
When everything that is not it
Is dissolved
In fact everything dissolves into it
Because love is not divisible
It is not me and you and others
It is the whole
Union.

Happy Valentine to your sacred heart ❤

Everything Resolves Into Love

My father shriveled into a coward’s life
His father carried his paranoia to the grave
His brother died of alcoholism and fear
My brother carries the darkness within him
My mother never recovered from bitterness
Her father was gassed in the first war and died early
Her mother retreated from life into illness

I nearly went the same way
The way of fear
The way of disappointment and bitterness
Of anger and resentment
Of addiction and desolation

But something happened on the way down

And my descent stopped
And became a kind of flight
Into the mystery
And the unknown

Everything unravelled
All beliefs and conditioning
Expectations and stories
And what was revealed
Was so natural and vast and pure

It was life
Without anything extra
Without the baggage and burden
It was the simple act of
Birth into form
From nothing into something
And back into nothing
I tried to find out what I was, what I am
And I discovered
I am love, freedom
Tree, animal, mineral
Bird, thought and sky
I am the space in which things happen
And the things that happen
I am the named and the nameless

Now I am recovered from the shock
I can laugh
And live easily
With gratitude and joy
My father, his father
His brother, my brother
My mother, her father and mother
All those who fell, broken and beaten
I can carry with such a deep compassion and love
They are healed and free
Free to dissolve back into
The formless realm
Of pure love
From which we all come
And all return to.

Seattle:2015

This is How We Love

We love with a wild tenderness
Beyond egoic self protection
Naked and unashamed
With a care for each other
And a love for truth
We know truth heals
And lies kill love
We love with nothing left undone
Nothing swept away
Held hostage for another day
Transparent, see through love
Blown open to joy’s fresh wind
Unafraid of sharing what is broken
Knowing that one day
Good bye will tear us apart

This is how we love
Like innocent children
And weary lovers
Grown tired of the world
Turned towards hibernation
Wrapped up in each other
Waiting for spring

This is how we love
As spring flowers
Dancing gaily in the fresh wind
Delighted just to be
Swaying this way and that
Laughing at each other
Knowing we are the same

We love beyond all this
Earthly concern
In realms unexplored
And galaxies unknown
We came to this
From the mystery
And we dance the mystery
Together and alone

But our purpose here
Is to share our love
With you.

 

On Reaching 60 Years

I’m 60 today
It’s been a long journey so far
Much has been broken
On the way
But now there is no attempt
To mend anything
Only to accept it as it is
There is much I could regret
Things I haven’t done or achieved
But somehow grace has gifted me freedom
Recently, in my 59th year,
I have finally dropped all concern
For what I have or haven’t done
Who I could have been
And what was done to me
Everything came to an end
In this year of grace
And allowed me to enter
The final movement
Unencumbered by past
The game ran its course
And in the glaring light
Everything was seen as it is
As love in disguise
Now I can get down
To the real business of life
Compassion and creativity
Silence and simply joy
Openness and acceptance
And a steely dedication
To the deepest truth
As I feel it

I am filled with gratitude
For the lineage of ancestry
That stretches back
To the beginning
The thread of relations
That brought me here
Although I can never know you
I feel all of you
In my blood, bones and brain
In my tears and my laughter
My pain, suffering and joy
We all meet here
In this experience
The past is this
That some call Kavi
But I call life.

A Man Must Serve Something

At some point as a man
You have to take stock
And decide
What you are going to serve from now on
And it inevitably comes down
To one of two things
Either you serve your own ego
And everything that comes with it
Or you serve love
And you surrender that resistant ego self

Only one of those choices
Will lead to peace, joy and enduring relationships
Only one of those choices
Will lead to wisdom, depth and maturity

But the choice for freedom
Comes at a price
You will have to sacrifice old grievances
Old defended ways
All your righteous indignation
Every chip on your shoulder
Everything must be thrown willingly
Onto the fire of love

At first that feels terrifying
Then you get used to it
Then you like it
Then you wonder
What all the fuss was about
And then you realize it was inevitable.

At some point you have to decide.