This Great Vulnerability

Oh! this great vulnerability
That underpins all action
And all thought

We are so vulnerable
Having arrived, seemingly unbidden,
And thrust mercilessly into the arms
Of strangers
Who claim ownership of us
And mold us, bend us and entangle us

We who came from god knows where
To this mystery of god knows what

At either end of the delicate thread of time
Lies eternity
And here we are
Desperate to make sense of it
Terrified of existence
And terrified of non existence

We have no idea why we are here
So we busy ourselves
With loving and tormenting
Ourselves and each other
Pretending our lives have meaning
But underneath
We have no idea what is going on

We are vulnerable children
At the mercy of forces
We do not understand
Apparently alone in a bewildering universe
That stretches to eternity
On a tiny ball spinning through space
That we cannot leave

We are so vulnerable
And we need each other
We need to be able to stare into each others eyes
And cry and laugh and scream
At the madness of finding ourselves
Alive without knowing why.

The Search for Grace

Only grace can allow us to see beauty
In the midst of horror
Only grace can open our steely hearts
In hell
Only grace can whisper yes
When the whole world screams NO!
Only grace can pour healing water
On the unquenchable fire
Only grace can shine a light
In the great darkness

So what then is this grace
That can offer so many miracles
For without it
Life would be unbearable
Grace makes existence bearable
Yet we do not know
What grace is?
There are no words, no nouns, no descriptions
No one has met grace
Yet here it is
Casting influence over all things
Surely it is this mysterious force
That gives all life it’s meaning

And the search for meaning is
The search for grace
The search for the undiscoverable
Radiance that underpins
All existence.


dark clouds

there are days
when dark clouds
of despondency
hang overhead
all day they just hang there
taunting me
with their heaviness
threatening rain

all i can really do
is accept them

fighting causes such pain

why should i be cheerful?
what is this expectation
that life is a smile and a laugh?

life is a hard journey
and a cruel test.
when the vast ocean
finds itself
in a tiny jar
it doesn’t complain
but it hurts
to be captured in something so small

why did i come here with no wings?
just these legs
that stick me to the ground

at times
nothingness seems appealing
and then i get yanked back
into the beauty
of all this
and i forget
this despondency