Even the Stars Bowed Down

Overwhelmed by all this human insanity
Did he sit in such a silence
That the world stopped all movement

And in that bitter sweet moment
The sky opened its heart
The moon shed its tears
And the sun offered its light
He lifted his weary head
And beheld a beauty
Of such heavenly wonder
That even the stars bowed down
And the universe stopped breathing

From that divine pause
Did time itself come
Dripping like nectar
Precious moment upon precious moment
Creating all this we see and know

Life is more vast than we can imagine
We live on the surface of something
So huge it would overwhelm us if we could see it
Our five senses allow us to navigate life here
But do not mistake perception for reality
They are not the same thing

In a certain enlightened experience once
I saw something with my inner eye
I saw time dripping into reality
Beyond mind, beyond our perceptive senses
I saw something so extraordinary it brought me to my knees
And I understood that we can never understand
Something changed in me forever that day
And I began to serve the divine that animates all things.

Image by James Wheeler from Pixabay

The Beautiful One

The beautiful one
Who lives outside things
Dances to a different piper

To find freedom
You have to step out of the crowd
And make your own way
You might have to meet yourself
For the very first time
And fall in love
With what you discover

If you listen deep enough
Through all the noise
Through the drama and distraction
You will begin to hear
A sweet tune
Some call it
The music of what is
Fall in love with that

There is a different world
A breath away from this one
The beautiful one is there
The true music is there
Freedom is there
All waiting for you.

Image by Silentpilot from Pixabay

Accept Your Tempest

Yesterday it rained
The clouds brought thunder
And lightning tore the sky open

Today the sun has returned
Calmly exuding heat and warmth
A restoration of presence

Both are welcome
By the earth
That accepts all visitations

Only the inside life matters
Filled with tempest and rain
Followed by sun and peaceful joy

We try to be one thing at our peril
And only by fully accepting
Our own tempest
Without it drowning us
And by accepting others thunder
Without it killing us
Will we become as deep as the earth.

Image by David Mark from Pixabay

Remember Your Vastness

Oh! mystic and eternal wanderer
Come here to this plane
Who knows why
Full of hope and anticipation
Innocent and free
Your eyes and heart awake
And joyous

What happened?
Did the world grind you down
With its pressures and demands
Did it force its cynicism upon you
Coerce you into its ways
Instill its confused beliefs into you

And you forgot
All about your true self
Caught up in a net
And plucked from the vast ocean

But now is the time to remember
All it takes is one moment
A flash of inner lightning
To untether
And unhook
And remember the truth
You are this mystic wanderer
Made of stardust and cosmic debris
Your origins are timeless
And when you dissolve back into emptiness
You do not disappear
But become your vast self again.

Image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay

Becoming a Pearl

Let the grit of our suffering
Become the pearl of our offering

There is always a purpose to our pain
It can feed our hate and resentment
Or, with great stealth and much grace,
It can feed a love so deep, so powerful,
It touches others and transforms them

Let wounds, trauma and suffering
Not be wasted on more negativity

But let it feed us and grow us
So we become something new
Something powerful and noble
Something worthy and beautiful
And let us carry ourselves
With humble magnificence
Even with all that has been broken.

– Kavi Jezzie Hockaday

Image by Elias Sch. from Pixabay

The Language of Beauty

There is a world inside this one
Its language is beauty
To talk to that world
You must learn to speak
In a different way
The way of the heart

When the relationship
Between the inner world
And the surface world
Is remembered and honored
Harmony returns

First there must be a shedding
Of the old self, the outer skin
The layers of protection
Built up by the illusory need
To live inside walls

You must be willing
To become wild again
To awaken wildness within
To awaken vulnerability
To awaken innocence
And fearlessness
It’s not as terrifying as it sounds
It’s a hair’s breadth away
As close as your skin
And it wants you
As much as you want it
It’s in your willingness to surrender

And then, when you begin to understand
The language of beauty
The world opens its gates to you
And, even though it may look like hell,
You will only see heaven
Not as a delusion
But as a reality.

Image by enriquelopezgarre from Pixabay

I Returned From the Darkness – It Wasn’t a Spiritual Journey, It Was a Human One

When most people meet me these days, in our events or even socially, they see someone who is bright, active, grounded and (hopefully) full of love. Many are quite shocked to know how dramatic my transformation has been, and how I haven’t been like this always but have wrestled with many demons and overcome a lot to get to this point.
But it is very true. And not a day goes by I don’t give thanks for the grace that allowed me to catch a glimpse of the light far away down the tunnel, and held me as I took a hundred thousand steps through the darkness to find it.

A hundred thousand steps, one at a time, sometimes falling, stumbling, and failing. Going backwards, defeated and lost. And then getting up, dusting myself down, and carrying on. Pulled by some unseen hand, not knowing what I was really aiming for, but knowing I could not stay where I was or who I was. There was an inner me calling to be freed, and I served that one.

Through addiction, through dysfunctional relating, through ten years of illness, through negativity and fear, through the wounds of childhood carried unconsciously like great sacks of sorrow into each intimate experience.

Through catharsis, body work, ceremony, prayer, through endless therapy, meditation, self inquiry, fasting, detoxification, through exercise, through hopelessness and acceptance of death, through meeting the deepest existential hole at the center of everything, on and on. Oh I have been in the darkness. I never stopped seeking what was true for me, what was deeper, what was real and honest. I never stopped until I arrived at love’s open door.

And then I walked in.

And when I walked in through that door, the door disappeared, the past disappeared, separation disappeared and everything that had been so hard, so divided, so troubled, became just one thing, one immense and beautiful dance of agony and ecstasy, of the appearance of duality and the illusion of the dream. There was this remarkable sense of arriving home, where I had always been, but had been so lost in pain and imagination I had not realized it.

And that did not mean that suddenly there was nothing more to do. No. There was the ongoing living of this remarkable awareness, in humility and truth. The darkness is still there, no longer as the dominant force it was, but as a whisper of a fragrance of a ghost. It comes sometimes, when I am at my most vulnerable or stressed, and it taps me on the shoulder and says,’ Remember me, I am your reminder to stay humble and open, to stay here as love’s tenderness.’

I stay with gratitude to the grace that allowed me to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

Thank you for reading. It is possible, with grit and grace, to walk through the darkness and into the light. It’s not a spiritual journey, it’s a necessary human one. And everyone can do it.