Flawed and Perfect

These flaws, these wounds and burdens
That we carry with such heaviness over the years
These patterns woven into us by the past
The ones we seek to rid ourselves of
So we can enjoy the freedom of no pain

Will never leave us
I’m sorry to tell you

You cannot get rid of these twists and turns
Anymore than the tree can get rid of its
Woody individuality
The tree grows the way it grows
Bent, beaten, flexible
Always reaching for the light

What you consider flaws and defects
Are your pattern
What makes you, you,
Individual and beautiful
Unique and exquisite

The real trick with the past
Is to accept it
But not be defined by it
Be more free than the past
Be flawed and perfect
Get rid of nothing
Embrace your uniqueness
Find what is unbroken in the broken

This striving for perfection
By removing that which makes us unique
Is an error of judgement
An understandable error of judgement

For the truth is we cannot bear our pain
Or the pain of the world
Suffering is our deepest wound
But when suffering is denied or avoided
It only increases in hidden and terrible ways

I turned towards suffering
My own and the worlds
I opened my arms wide
And said, ‘Yes, come here, I will love you,’
And it changed everything

Turn away no more,
But stop and turn towards what hurts
It is the only way for a warrior.

The Walls We Build

Must we close our fragile hearts
To the world
To protect our vulnerable selves
Must we erect our shields
And great walls of defense
And separate ourselves
From everything
That is too much to bear
Must we?
Even though those very hearts
Are the doors
To our humanity

The most beautiful quality of being human
Is found through the door of suffering.


which queue were you in?

we were standing, you and i,
in the pre birth queue
in some strange dimension
and as we both
reached the front
i looked at you
and asked
‘are you sure
about this?’
‘sure!’ you said
‘SURE!’ you said
and those words
have haunted me since.

and thus we received
our download
and headed off for the birth queue
I will never forget
looking back at the 
sign above the our queue
that read

It was a very long queue.

Never again.