IT HURTS

Yes my friend it hurts
Life hurts
In fact it can be excruciating
Agony, to the bone suffering,
There is no escaping pain
Except by denying it
Or numbing ourselves to it
But neither strategy actually works
The pain just gets deflected or buried

No, life hurts, that’s just the basic truth
Even spirituality won’t help you
Although it may offer the carrot
Of a painless life
And if you want a detached existence
Whereby the human experience
With its inherent pain
Is turned away from
So be it

But still it will hurt

No my friend, the only way is through,
The only choice is to open so wide
To sacrifice all resistance to life
So that the pain, the causes of pain,
The suffering, the grief, even the rage and fury
Are all included in that opening
Without identifying with any of it

That is the art of the deepest acceptance of life
And all that comes with it

A beautiful, excruciating, ecstatic, annihilating,
Maddening, confusing, overwhelming, existence
That brings us to our knees.

Image by 5933179 from Pixabay

THE DEEPENING

Some call this journey awakening
I don’t
I call it the deepening
I prefer the metaphor and the imagery of deepening
It speaks to something inside us that is hungry for the light
It calls to the soul, the heart and our longing

Everyone knows that the word deepening presupposes
That we will have to meet shadows and wounds
So it comes with a warrior’s challenge

Deepening, there is no escape, no avoidance
Of course it is scary, terrifying even
But that’s the nature of deepening
To meet ourselves and life so fully
So transparently, so tenderly,
That something transforms
From the deepest outwards.

– Image by Darren Lawrence from Pixabay See Less

Becoming Whole

For if we cannot bear our own brokenness
And the brokenness of the world
We are doomed to deny it
And from our denial we will create a monster
Born of the shadows, of shame and rage,
Projected outwards in its desperation to be seen

And a world will be created in our image
But it will be a false world built on lies and fear
Its structures made of the sand of ignorance
Everything will be dominated by division
And we will forget who we are

Without bearing our brokenness
We are ghosts that haunt the earth
Trying to get home

So we must turn towards our wounds
Bear our grief and our shame
Embrace our mortality and our shadows
And begin the process
Of becoming whole

This is the only way home
There are no shortcuts.

Image by Pexels from Pixabay

The Brush of Fate’s Hand

All we can ever really do
Is surrender it all
And keep on walking
Yield imagined control and
Become humble warriors of fate’s hand
As it brushes through everything

The greatest wisdom is in knowing
That nothing escapes time
But the consciousness
From which it arises

That is our origin and our destination.

Image by Pexels from Pixabay

Battle or Surrender

The world of experience
This phenomenal display
We imagine we understand
But get so wrong

Will either drive us mad
Or drive us deep inside ourselves
The same world
Will taunt and tease us into battle
Or invite us into surrender

What makes one person wise
And another ignorant?
What makes one learn from life
And another endlessly fight with it?

No one knows what fate is
No one knows what karma is
All we really have is this, here, now
An opportunity for deepening
Or the perpetuation of our struggle

The most dangerous thing about life
Is thinking we understand it.

Image by Krzysiek from Pixabay

The Great Adventure of Surrender

A great adventure awaits the one willing to surrender
For in surrender the you you think you are
Begins to slowly dissolve

You start to surrender parts of yourself
Not to some thing outside yourself
But to life itself, to your direct experience
At first this may be a huge insult to the ego
But if that is also surrendered,
In fact whatever is experienced is surrendered
What ever is thought or imagined is surrendered
A great and beautiful dissolvement happens

And you will fall further inside yourself
You will meet challenge upon challenge
But each encounter will forge you
And each surrender will deepen you

Until there is nothing more to surrender
And then a deep stillness and peace arises
And you become the silent heartbeat of the world

If there is a key to freedom, it is surrender.

Image by Peter H from Pixabay

Life is Uncontrollable

At some point on the long journey
We have to face the facts
Life is uncontrollable
That one single truth
Sends terror into the ego self
Who finds it unacceptable
But there it is
No matter how we try and fix it
Over power it, rationalize it
Scream at it or deny it
It is still uncontrollable

Wisdom says
Knowing that and desiring freedom
I choose to try and accept
That my attempts are futile
And I can either carry that truth
With resignation
And stay stuck in the battle
Or carry that truth
With the deepest acceptance
And surrender it all
To the natural intelligence
Inside everything.

Everything Comes Home

Today I have awoken
Into the soft belly of deep acceptance
My tenderness knows no limit
My love knows no bounds
And after such a long struggle with the world
A struggle that was entirely of my own making
I have yielded the fighter
I realized the world was not my enemy
And my experience was nothing to fear
And I could let go of holding on
To what I could have, or should have, been

In this great acceptance I found grace
Not as some enlightened state
But ordinary grace in the daily chores
The simple beauty of presence
That never leaves me now

Everything comes home
When everything is surrendered

We think surrender is the end
But it’s the beginning
For in surrender
We can fly in all directions
And stay exactly where we are.

Photo by Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash

pulled to surrender

today i will sit quietly

and watch the hummingbirds

buzz busily about

i may do nothing

all day

but sit and wonder

ah! if only this were the truth

instead i am pulled into the world

with its complications and demands

a world that tugs of these emotions

and insecurities

i have never found a better answer

to life’s questions

than surrender.