Life – It’s a Tough Lesson

Life
It’s a tough lesson
So many dreams and beliefs
Lie shattered
Hearts broken
Ideas strewn around
Like debris from a crash

You believed, naively,
In what you were told
We all did
That’s what youth is
And then reality starts
And down the dreams come
First one falls to the ground
And then another
And that’s when you hit
The danger zone
Bitterness sets in
Anger takes over
You believed it all
And now you feel cheated

But here is the thing my friend
Now is the time to question
Everything
Everything you were told
And all you came to believe
Look into the heart
The soul of life
Ask deeper and deeper questions

The difference between
The downcast and the warrior
Is a change in perspective
The warrior takes their pain
Their suffering
And transforms it
They release the inner victim
To fly into the heavens
The warrior stops trying
To be someone
Other than who they are
They embrace brokenness
As a gift

Life
It’s a tough lesson
But when you drop
All expectations
And just allow it to be
Whatever it is
You become noble and true
Like a blade
Forged on the anvil
Of disappointment
And broken dreams.

Everything Resolves Into Love

My father shriveled into a coward’s life
His father carried his paranoia to the grave
His brother died of alcoholism and fear
My brother carries the darkness within him
My mother never recovered from bitterness
Her father was gassed in the first war and died early
Her mother retreated from life into illness

I nearly went the same way
The way of fear
The way of disappointment and bitterness
Of anger and resentment
Of addiction and desolation

But something happened on the way down

And my descent stopped
And became a kind of flight
Into the mystery
And the unknown

Everything unravelled
All beliefs and conditioning
Expectations and stories
And what was revealed
Was so natural and vast and pure

It was life
Without anything extra
Without the baggage and burden
It was the simple act of
Birth into form
From nothing into something
And back into nothing
I tried to find out what I was, what I am
And I discovered
I am love, freedom
Tree, animal, mineral
Bird, thought and sky
I am the space in which things happen
And the things that happen
I am the named and the nameless

Now I am recovered from the shock
I can laugh
And live easily
With gratitude and joy
My father, his father
His brother, my brother
My mother, her father and mother
All those who fell, broken and beaten
I can carry with such a deep compassion and love
They are healed and free
Free to dissolve back into
The formless realm
Of pure love
From which we all come
And all return to.

Seattle:2015

On Reaching 60 Years

I’m 60 today
It’s been a long journey so far
Much has been broken
On the way
But now there is no attempt
To mend anything
Only to accept it as it is
There is much I could regret
Things I haven’t done or achieved
But somehow grace has gifted me freedom
Recently, in my 59th year,
I have finally dropped all concern
For what I have or haven’t done
Who I could have been
And what was done to me
Everything came to an end
In this year of grace
And allowed me to enter
The final movement
Unencumbered by past
The game ran its course
And in the glaring light
Everything was seen as it is
As love in disguise
Now I can get down
To the real business of life
Compassion and creativity
Silence and simply joy
Openness and acceptance
And a steely dedication
To the deepest truth
As I feel it

I am filled with gratitude
For the lineage of ancestry
That stretches back
To the beginning
The thread of relations
That brought me here
Although I can never know you
I feel all of you
In my blood, bones and brain
In my tears and my laughter
My pain, suffering and joy
We all meet here
In this experience
The past is this
That some call Kavi
But I call life.

The Artist Saves Humanity From A Dry Existence

The linearity of this level of consciousness
Preoccupied by past, present, future
By the rational, practical and ordered mind
By survival and shelter
Is so dry and barren
When left to it’s own devices

It is only salvaged by creativity
By the artist
The poet
The mystic
The wild one
Who goes beyond
Who stumbles into the unknown
Who goes beyond the limit

They bring meaning
Something extraordinary
They shine a light
Remind us of our mystery
Our fragility
Vulnerability
They show us our own soul
And our broken hearts
They cry for us and with us

The artist
The beautiful, crazy ones,
Fit for nothing reasonable
And mostly hopeless
At fitting into anything
Save us from
Rigidity
And the constant sameness
Of things

For god’s sake
Buy their stuff
Share it, rave about it
Love them, tell them you love them
You may be all they have
You may be what stands between them
And giving up

And if you are one of them
Know this
What you do is of value
It doesn’t matter who sees it
Who hears it
Who reads it
What matters is your soul
What matters is you do it
Just do it anyway
Give up on the reason why
Or the outcome
What you do matters
On levels of consciousness
Unseen and invisible
If you get reward on this plane
Great
If you don’t
Great
Do what you must
And do it with your brazen
Broken
Wounded
Wild
Crazy heart wide open.

 

A Man Must Serve Something

At some point as a man
You have to take stock
And decide
What you are going to serve from now on
And it inevitably comes down
To one of two things
Either you serve your own ego
And everything that comes with it
Or you serve love
And you surrender that resistant ego self

Only one of those choices
Will lead to peace, joy and enduring relationships
Only one of those choices
Will lead to wisdom, depth and maturity

But the choice for freedom
Comes at a price
You will have to sacrifice old grievances
Old defended ways
All your righteous indignation
Every chip on your shoulder
Everything must be thrown willingly
Onto the fire of love

At first that feels terrifying
Then you get used to it
Then you like it
Then you wonder
What all the fuss was about
And then you realize it was inevitable.

At some point you have to decide.

Communion of Souls

There is a communion of souls
A place within where we meet
Where something deep is touched
Some essence beyond the reach of conditioned mind

When we meet in that sacred encounter
We may dare show our true face
A great trust will arise
Through our naked vulnerability
And love will manifest naturally
As our abiding state

We may never return
To the ordinary world
Of masks and cloaks
For we will have tasted life’s true beauty.

Intimacy – The Hidden Treasure

Intimacy is what happens
When the soul is laid bare
And received
With an open heart

It has nothing to do with sex

Intimacy is where
Openness meets itself
Beyond the walls of self protection

It is the ultimate display of rebellion
In a superficial world

But it has nothing to do with sex

To be intimate with anyone or anything
You have to be willing
To reveal your innermost
To explore your depths
And to hear without judgement
To be able to sit
In the complete unknown
Even as the fire might rage

Intimacy is being comfortable
In the discomfort
Of the unknown
Because this intimacy
Is where love lives

It is the secret treasure
Only the authentic explorer
Can discover.